I am not myself of late, of that I am convinced. Last week, right before a dinner party with friends and strangers I sneezed a loose crown right out of my mouth and into the ocean on an afternoon swim. Ka-ching! $650 for my share of the bill-just another setback in a series of contretemps that have plagued my life since the household air conditioning died and the lap top bought the farm (Thanks Joe- it's working again!). The dinner party was complicated by the absence of my front tooth, though I fashioned a temporary out of white play dough and escaped detection, much to my surprise. Chewing cheese and crackers in front of a room full of strangers with play dough in your jaw takes lots of concentration I discovered.
Last night I went for a walk down Truman Avenue and forgot my new tripod which would have made picture taking so much easier. But I made use of found objects, crates, trash cans and light posts to discover what I could picture.
This is the heart of the city at night, police officers gather here at the intersection of Truman and White Streets to drink coffee between calls, though last night the only vaguely police related vehicle was my Bonneville as calls for service seemed endless, including a scooter rider who rode through a fence and smashed his head. A helmet would have saved him a ride in the ambulance and a drill into his skull to "relieve the pressure." What pressure I didn't dare to ask the ambulance crew. Instead I took a lunch break around 1:30 and parked next to a little Conch cottage for sale. I wonder if they will get anything close to the $650,000 asking price for this "cute" 2-bedroom?
And you've got the convenience of a busy gas station right outside your bedroom window. All this at a time when rumor has it real estate is tanking in the US. Nobody said Key West is grounded in reality; why would I keep a diary if it were?
Last night I went for a walk down Truman Avenue and forgot my new tripod which would have made picture taking so much easier. But I made use of found objects, crates, trash cans and light posts to discover what I could picture.This is the heart of the city at night, police officers gather here at the intersection of Truman and White Streets to drink coffee between calls, though last night the only vaguely police related vehicle was my Bonneville as calls for service seemed endless, including a scooter rider who rode through a fence and smashed his head. A helmet would have saved him a ride in the ambulance and a drill into his skull to "relieve the pressure." What pressure I didn't dare to ask the ambulance crew. Instead I took a lunch break around 1:30 and parked next to a little Conch cottage for sale. I wonder if they will get anything close to the $650,000 asking price for this "cute" 2-bedroom?And you've got the convenience of a busy gas station right outside your bedroom window. All this at a time when rumor has it real estate is tanking in the US. Nobody said Key West is grounded in reality; why would I keep a diary if it were?Truman Avenue was known as Division Street before President Truman took to vacationing in the Southernmost City every opportunity he got, while in office. The street is essentially an extension of the main drag into town, North Roosevelt Boulevard, and where the four lane road becomes two lanes at Bayview Park it changes it's name and becomes a slow and congested conduit to the Mecca of all visitors, Duval Street. Old Town starts at the White Street intersection which is also as it happens where several among the weird and wonderful local businesses that give Key West it's color also like to call home:
When is a bike shop not a bike shop? When the landlord's real estate office burns down and he needs to relocate upstairs. I found it quite telling when the realtor admitted in the paper that he would like to return to White Street but there may not be enough money in real estate these days to allow him to make the move. God knows the realtors' association is spending a fortune advertising to try to get people to buy homes. The bike shop seems to be doing okay, every square inch of space packed, as is usually the case in Key West:
I am not much of a shopper, I insist on pointing out, but this shop window struck me. I like the term "upholstery" not least because it's not a term (like "haberdashery") one sees that often in modern shopping America. But it's on display on Truman Avenue along with cushion covers of a typically Key West leafy style:
Upholstery certainly isn't the oldest profession, as old fashioned sounding as it may be. For that one wanders across the street to the not inappropriately named "Bare Assets" because for reasons lost in the mists of time it has been deemed illegal for men to pay women for sex, so this rather sordid and sad activity has to be masked with all sorts of euphemisms:
They are advertising for help among women who want to "make money, have fun and always feel safe." The ad goes on to say that they offer "full nude pole dancing lap dancing, and VIP rooms and private champagne rooms." Call me cynical but it quacks like a whorehouse to me. I am forced to rummage around the want ads owing to the fact that I have never been inside Bare Assets and I confess I would rather drink champagne alone than in their company.
When is a bike shop not a bike shop? When the landlord's real estate office burns down and he needs to relocate upstairs. I found it quite telling when the realtor admitted in the paper that he would like to return to White Street but there may not be enough money in real estate these days to allow him to make the move. God knows the realtors' association is spending a fortune advertising to try to get people to buy homes. The bike shop seems to be doing okay, every square inch of space packed, as is usually the case in Key West:I am not much of a shopper, I insist on pointing out, but this shop window struck me. I like the term "upholstery" not least because it's not a term (like "haberdashery") one sees that often in modern shopping America. But it's on display on Truman Avenue along with cushion covers of a typically Key West leafy style:Upholstery certainly isn't the oldest profession, as old fashioned sounding as it may be. For that one wanders across the street to the not inappropriately named "Bare Assets" because for reasons lost in the mists of time it has been deemed illegal for men to pay women for sex, so this rather sordid and sad activity has to be masked with all sorts of euphemisms:They are advertising for help among women who want to "make money, have fun and always feel safe." The ad goes on to say that they offer "full nude pole dancing lap dancing, and VIP rooms and private champagne rooms." Call me cynical but it quacks like a whorehouse to me. I am forced to rummage around the want ads owing to the fact that I have never been inside Bare Assets and I confess I would rather drink champagne alone than in their company.Having made it past the two businesses focused on that which we are supposed to never forget how to ride we come to the other physical obsession: 
Key West boasts lots of yoga and spa and fitness centers of one sort or another. This is one of two gyms in this very part of town. The other, more bzarrely is located behinmd the used bookstore, a place that deserves an essay of its own. I find Iron Bodies about as intimidating as Bare Assets. And while we're on that subject there is another outlet that never seems to have a customer but that appears unlikely to go out of business:
And you thought the Internet made "Adult Stores" passe. Truman Avenue should be renamed Euphemism Way, come to think. I did like the bike rack, a very Key West touch I thought.
Key West boasts lots of yoga and spa and fitness centers of one sort or another. This is one of two gyms in this very part of town. The other, more bzarrely is located behinmd the used bookstore, a place that deserves an essay of its own. I find Iron Bodies about as intimidating as Bare Assets. And while we're on that subject there is another outlet that never seems to have a customer but that appears unlikely to go out of business:And you thought the Internet made "Adult Stores" passe. Truman Avenue should be renamed Euphemism Way, come to think. I did like the bike rack, a very Key West touch I thought.Some people try to make a living using their cerebellum and fail:
And some stay in business. I liked the homely abandonment to the night of this architect's office. It looked like a stage set to me, blueprints, desk chair and artwork all laid out just waiting for the players:
On the one hand the desk offers splendid people watching possibilities, on the other all those people get ot look in as you doodle your work day away. I wonder how architects face up to the reality of Key West architecture, rooted in ship's carpentry, rigidly encoded and hemmed in by tradition and expectation. There are some nice examples on Truman Avenue:
There was also another example of Key West architecture across the street with a fine example of a shadowy Key West resident taking in the midnight air, warm and humid, and greeting his friends and neighbors in two languages, as they passed beneath:
Further up the street is a business (no, not that!) which my wife has enjoyed with friends as I am not excessively fond of raw fish served on rice balls. Don't get me wrong, I'll eat sushi and sashimi but not with the gusto demanded by the price. Kyushu enjoys the sort of architecture that I notice every time I ride by and though it cannot be obvious in this picture they shade their window panes with white paint to simulate rice paper. I find it charming and goofy:
Across the street, sort of kitty corner to Kyushu is one of those confounding addressesKey West specialkizes in, Wong Song Alley. When I first received a call for service on this street early on in the 9-1-1 center I had no clue where the nice lady was calling. "Yes," she sighed, "the cops always have trouble locating this address." She was very patient. So, as I always do when I get an address I don't recognize, I took a ride to find this secret alley. It's not really hard to find especially if tou are looking for it, though I discovered it is hard to photograph effectively. I include this shaded picture in homage to Wong Song Alley's elusiveness:
Wong Song it turns out is a bit like Sasquatch, and photography only increases the doubt...look hard under those trees, stranger, and find a grassy lane that leads away to the south, they say it was a wong song, though what the white one was I wouldn't know.
And some stay in business. I liked the homely abandonment to the night of this architect's office. It looked like a stage set to me, blueprints, desk chair and artwork all laid out just waiting for the players:On the one hand the desk offers splendid people watching possibilities, on the other all those people get ot look in as you doodle your work day away. I wonder how architects face up to the reality of Key West architecture, rooted in ship's carpentry, rigidly encoded and hemmed in by tradition and expectation. There are some nice examples on Truman Avenue:There was also another example of Key West architecture across the street with a fine example of a shadowy Key West resident taking in the midnight air, warm and humid, and greeting his friends and neighbors in two languages, as they passed beneath:Further up the street is a business (no, not that!) which my wife has enjoyed with friends as I am not excessively fond of raw fish served on rice balls. Don't get me wrong, I'll eat sushi and sashimi but not with the gusto demanded by the price. Kyushu enjoys the sort of architecture that I notice every time I ride by and though it cannot be obvious in this picture they shade their window panes with white paint to simulate rice paper. I find it charming and goofy:Across the street, sort of kitty corner to Kyushu is one of those confounding addressesKey West specialkizes in, Wong Song Alley. When I first received a call for service on this street early on in the 9-1-1 center I had no clue where the nice lady was calling. "Yes," she sighed, "the cops always have trouble locating this address." She was very patient. So, as I always do when I get an address I don't recognize, I took a ride to find this secret alley. It's not really hard to find especially if tou are looking for it, though I discovered it is hard to photograph effectively. I include this shaded picture in homage to Wong Song Alley's elusiveness:Wong Song it turns out is a bit like Sasquatch, and photography only increases the doubt...look hard under those trees, stranger, and find a grassy lane that leads away to the south, they say it was a wong song, though what the white one was I wouldn't know.Truman Avenue, White Street to Wong Song Alley, so much in so little space, the hallmark of all Key West.
I went to Blue Heaven but many people looked happy enough breakfasting at the scene of last night's debauchery while these two fine specimens of vacationing womanhood were enjoying their private terrace at La Concha, ignoring the toiling masses in the street below their hotel:
The cab driver saving gas by keeping his windows open while he waits for a fare:
The street sweeper cleaning up the debris in the gutters:
Then there is the city employee hosing down the sidewalks to prepare the street for fussy visitors who prefer not to wade through trash on their way to get toasted:
Some are already busy at the bar in Sloppy Joe's at 9:19am (I checked my watch):
And I am forced to wonder how many tourists in Key West have ever seen The Bull looking like this:
Nothing quite so forlorn as a bar all closed up. I caught this guy, an advertisement for a real living wage if ever I saw one, toiling up Rose Lane: 
All those beer bottles that get thrown away empty, not recycled, arrive on Duval by human power, even in the early 21st century. And there is the vendor at Duval and Eaton who will spend the day getting toasted on his own (by the sun) selling Key West made trinkets. He starts his long day hauling his cart into position by hand:
While across the street at St Paul's relief is at hand if only one has the patience:
And don't forget the lunch time organ recitals which are delightful and free and start at 12:10pm and last about half an hour, in the cool recesses of the church.
The operator at the Hyatt booth was kind enough to help out some faceless visitors seeking directions:
Some other early birds on Caroline Street were getting last minute instructions on bicycle riding, as they wheeled off their rentals:
Bicycles are an excellent low stress way to get around town, especially if you're on vacation and it doesn't matter if you show up sweaty and hot. Mopeds are a close second and for those who rent cars I found these next two pictures, shot on Charles Street, to illustrate an obvious parking point:
Bear in mind these are likely locals vehicles and it usually doesn't pay to park like a local in Key West as parking enforcement and property owners usually know and recognize vehicles that belong in outlandish spots. Technically its not legal to lock a bike to city sign or street lamp but it would be an unlucky tourist that got her bike removed by Public Works during a brief stop. Riding the wrong way down a one way, even on a bicycle can get you a ticket, especially if you have a shitty attitude. As far as parking goes you can't beat a bicycle. And, by the way, if you have a few extra bar stools you don't need this is where you can dump them apparently:
I've remarked previously on the rather poor taste of many of the t-shirts displayed on Duval Street and some people think bongs, typically used to smoke marijuana shouldn't be on sale either. But there they are all lined up for inspection. Rather more prosaically there is a small grocery store on Duval Street and goes by the name of Shorty's, and I've never even stopped off to buy water here, but for some reason, probably because the air conditioning beckoned, I stepped in.
It was quite the revelation actually, like a real grocery store with all sorts of useful items for the forgetful tourist. I ended up spending $13 on stuff that looked pretty good to me. I got the Turkish coffee as a taste test for my wife who has a trip planned there (Turkey, not Shorty's) with some girlfriends in September, and I'm quite partial to Patak's curries so I bought a couple of meals in a box I'd never seen before. I've since eaten one and they are quite decent too, hurricane food or for a quick dinner at work:
Most tour guides tell the story that people who jump always leave behind a glass of chardonnay at the top of Key West's tallest building. Don't ask me I've never checked. And with that crowd shuffling off I found Duval starting to wake up with both eyes open and thus it was time for me to go home and enjoy the last hours of my "weekend" off.
Downtown Key West is busy enough but a few short blocks from Duval and Elizabeth Street under the afternoon sun looks empty enough to shoot a canon. Looking closer at the front of the Key Lime Store a couple of visitors are taking advantage not of the free Key Lime taffy (fools!) but the misting spray:
At the monument I found one visitor pretending he was in the Empty Quarter of Arabia.
The parking lots on Green Street were packed with ten dollar-a-day parked cars, some few in the shade, locals no doubt, but most in the white glare of the open pea rock, fully exposed to the summer sun. The demarcation line was quite dramatic:
The parking lot attendant was making no waves, sitting tight and waiting for sunset:
Locals abandon the tools of their trade in the heat of the midday sun, fork-lifts can roast and vinyl seats can burn as though under a magnifying lense when parked out under the suns rays:
But mad dogs, Englishmen and tourists will happily stroll the sunny side of the street:
Some sun-mad lunatics come to Key West to eat by the water and nothing will stop them from fulfilling the desire to eat fish outdoors and they scarf in the inadequate shade of an umbrella at Conch Republic Seafood:
To me the murky waters of Key West Bight even managed to look inviting, as they sat there all smooth and cool and wet:
But some people are just cool no matter what the ambient temperature and relative humidity:
Call it a paradox but the brick building housing Peppers of Key West looked cool and inviting: 
Inside they were offering their usual hot sauces and barbecue recipes and cute though it all was it was too warm for me:
I don't mind the heat, as long as I'm not working out in it. I talked to a cop the other day who was lamenting that on the day shift he has to get out of his car and walk around in his polyester uniform. He looked hot and uncomfortable just talking about it. Other people have to do physical work like moving stuff under the sun:
This guy left his Mercedes just like that and his trailer just like that for the entire forty minutes I was wandering around taking pictures. I think he planned to come back later to finish the job,m whatever it was. My little stroll worked up a sweat of my own:
I was all damp and ready for cold air when I got back in the car, and only feeling slightly traitorous in that I had had to leave the Bonneville at home yesterday. I love summer.