No Name No See'Ums

The cooler winter weather has produced clear skies and remarkable sunsets. There has also fallen a large amount of unseasonable rain which has cleared the atmosphere.

I hadn't been out to No Name Key in a while and I hoped that with the cooler weather Cheyenne might be induced to take a walk in the woods on one of my favorite trails. It started out well enough but fifty yards in she did her Cheyenne thing and decided this wasn't for her and she stopped and stared at me. Lacking the power of speech a solid stare from my Labrador in the middle of a walk indicates she wants to change direction. Give her credit, she knows her own mind.

So she took up her favorite alligator position, spread eagled on the ground to take advantage of the cool earth and I leaned up against the car and read my phone. I never cease to be amazed by the ability of my pocket phone to store books and allow me to read me anywhere on a whim. I have even downloaded books while standing around in line. It is a dangerous thing that "one click purchase" in the Kindle store, but what a wonder it is to have a whole selection of books stored in one's camera, alongside the telephone and the flashlight...

Even though it's winter the no see'ums were unbearable when they realized there was unprotected flesh to snack on and I had to persuade my dog with the impenetrable fur to get back into to the car for the drive home. Some people say flies are God's mistake but for my money there is nothing more vexing and useless than a no see'um and they never travel alone.

I am no angler but I guess the people standing like statues fishing on the bridge were far enough from the mangroves to be insect-free. Some people say Skin So Soft by Avon keeps no see'ums away but in my experience, with my skin, nothing works. At least I don't get welts but I was rubbing my calves frenetically as I drove. For some reason I figure very cold air from the air conditioner helps with the scratching so we were freezing as we went, frigid air blasting in an effort to drive away the maddening desire to scratch.

Life is an irrational occupation, like the dude who takes a boat to kill a fish and enjoys the time on the water. Much easier to buy a fillet at Winn Dixie, but less fun he would argue.

No Name Pub, which is actually on Big Pine Key, was doing a land sale business as usual in winter. One day the craft beer revolution will penetrate this corner of the world too, and something more interesting than Yuengling in a folding plastic cup will be on offer one bright day at the pub. I've heard that the former Parrotdise restaurant on Little Torch has been sold so perhaps draught Smithwicks will return there to benefit the under served Lower Keys. I am no fan of the bitter hops of the fashionably undrinkable India Pale Ale rage that is sweeping the country, but something more palatable than fizzy alcoholic water would nice if it were offered somewhere.

With a bridge under apparently permanent construction I had time to sit and ponder these shortcomings in the beer availability in the area. A remarkably comprehensive liquor store opened not too long ago on Summerland Key and their wine and liquor selections are quite far reaching and interesting. Something has gone wrong in the beer department, either that or I am a fuddy duddy because lately all they seem to sell is harsh bitter battery acid in bottles masquerading as beer. I like my coffee hot and not too strong and I like my beer slightly chilled and not too...strong. I like red wine the same way. But it seems like every time something good becomes fashionable it has to get tampered with so that it becomes so harsh only a true aficionado will drink it, leaving pantywaists like me to moan about wine with 17% alcohol and enough tannin to starch a shirt or beer hitting 8% and thus being undrinkable unless you need to perform so deeply humiliating penance and sear your throat with hops.

After waiting a couple of life times with no oncoming traffic the stupid red light eventually changed and granted me passage over the bridge which like North Roosevelt in Key West, is apparently destined to be abandoned forever in a state of repair.

And with that I went home post haste to feed my dog, rub my legs in comfort and have a refreshing cup of tea. Who needs beer anyway?

Posted with Blogsy

Decorating Christmas Key West

I got a comment on the night decorations essay about how odd a reader Up North found it to see palms with Christmas decorations. Well yes, that seems reasonable. On the other hand if one were local literalist one would have to find it odd to see conifers and snow in Palestine.

Nevertheless these symbols are practically universal in the age of television of electrons so we see these for trees and stuff everywhere and we all know. What they stand for.

This place used to be an elaborate palace of decorative efforts but the elderly occupants as I recall decided they had had enough of the effort and nowadays a drooping flag is as much color as one sees. I understand their decision, time passes for all of us, but there it is.

And Mature provides where humans fall short. Bougainvillea is not exactly poinsettias but they look the part. That one can buy poinsettias here like anywhere in the US is all part of the universal oddness of Christmas.

The deflated Chrostmas decorations are the worst. They seem so undignified and their time on display isso limited...

This one needed no inflating though I thought the frown was a bit...unseasonable.

Ah yes, Palestine year of our lord, year zero as represented by snowy windows. Actually I thought this view of a business window on Truman Avenue Key West, year 2013 looked quite passably like a representation of a Victorian scene from possibly the well worn Christmas Carol story set in 19th century London.

I liked this attempt at a recall to the religious sentiments of the season, however it is I suppose up to me the atheist to point out that the resurrection story is a little later in the cycle of holidays. Even the son of god has to be born before he can be resurrected.

And here we are, not Palm Sunday, just Key West...

As a Christmas scene it does come up bit short doesn't it? All thanks to our inbuilt expectations of snow and sleigh bells and pine trees and scarves and thank you very much Charles Dickens at al.

Christmas doesn't feel like Christmas in Key West no matter how many plastic snowflakes you hang on the porch.

Posted with Blogsy

A Study In Sunset

My Android camera continues to astonish me.

Especially at sunset.

And Cheyenne is just happy to be out and about on a warm winter evening.

She lets me play with my camera while I let her chase fish bait cooked by the sun.

And then change the settings and we get a blue sunset.

Taken on my favorite footbridge, connecting Cudjoe and Sugarloaf Keys.

Posted with Blogsy

Key West: " Hookers & Blow!" Oh My!

There is a little storm brewing in the teacup that is Key West about a short interview segment of a program purported to be news, on the notoriously "Fair and Balanced" Fox network. A five minute segment of street interviews broadcast on the Bill O'Reilly program damns Key West eternally as a modern day Abilene inhabited by lawless refugees from the real world who live on the margins and who in the words of one brilliant interview subject do "hookers and blow" for entertainment. We have no Internet, bank accounts or lawful pursuits they tell us, much to our own surprise.

Apparently Fox interviewed "normal "people according to the Mayor, a normal person self described, whose words of wisdom were cut possibly because they were plodding and mundane as politicians are wont to be when trying to impress strangers with reasons to visit their town. When the editors sat down with the footage they got in Key West what do you suppose they found? A gold mine of easily directed half wits ready to say anything to get on TV. And they did say anything:

Watters' World: The Key West Edition - YouTube

The thing is the humor works because there is a grain of truth in the gross exaggerations presented in the story. You may have heard the joke about what you call the guy wearing a suit in Key West? Defendant...But on the other hand I don't own a suit or a jacket or even a tie and I do not feel the lack of them. And how many Americans do you know go to work each morning like this guy, hauling his wares behind him like a 19th century traveler?

He has a job, he sets up shop on Eaton Street and sells carved Conch shells. In this crazy town it is possible to make a good living in the tourist trade, but straight people like me also work "normal" jobs just like you. Unfortunately there are the wandering homeless folk who shuffle through our lives daily hauling their own baggage of mental illness and despair. They aren't colorful or funny though they get lumped in with the drunks and idiots who make Key West look bad on the TV.

In the newspaper article some few ingenuous locals wanted to get on their hind legs and make a flap about this silly five minutes of make believe on their all important telly. I think calmer heads will prevail and the whole mess will be allowed to fade quietly from view. I mean really, if someone wants to make a fuss what will the outcome be? There is evidence everywhere that Key West is not in the mainstream and that alcohol and begging go hand in hand. The really good bits are there too of course, but short attention span TV can't winkle them out in a couple of minutes of make believe.

There was the usual claim that police are nowhere to be seen, which is another fine distortion. Police move people along, arrest some when they have cause and sooner rather than later they are back on the streets just like before. I remember some civic leaders bruited plans to try a comprehensive approach to dealing with the bums involving law enforcement, social workers the courts and probation but the effort died before it was born. So the roundabout continues merrily along. You gotta blame somebody for it, right? Might as well be the police, as usual.

The chamber of commerce has issued a statement by not issuing a statement and telling the newspaper to forget it. It seems unlikely to me that anyone will base their vacation decisions on what one addle pated talking head thinks about this city, especially as he says he has been visiting Key West for decades. Wow, O'Reilly, aren't you the daredevil! I think he would be really edgy if he went to Mogadishu on vacation, or to volunteer at Mother Teresa's in Calcutta. Key West is more likely to give you crabs than see you robbed, though anything is possible because this is the real world and bad people live here too.

And I think that's where the problem lies. I doubt Bill O'Reilly stays anywhere outside of Sunset Key, the neatly groomed, terminally dull one percent enclave in the harbor free of chickens, bums and life itself. But this image of Key West as a colorful lawless frontier town is a myth that is propagated by people who want to show themselves as edgy and hip. So it is in their interest to portray this sleepy little town as some place only resourceful slightly reckless adventurers would visit. Phooey! Check out the way even the middle class have to rough it in Key West, that is if they don't choose intimate five star guest houses...

Too feckless for families? Really? Tell that to Disney who bring families to Key West on their cruise ships...the idea that Key West is unsuitable for the milquetoast cruisers seems absurd, not least because city leaders had been pushing hard for channel widening for even bigger ships, at the urging of the corporations that see Key West as a desirable destination! Cruise ships don't pile up in edgy destinations, folks! Behind the ship you can see Sunset Key, home to the likes of O'Reilly and his ilk, far from the worries of daily Key West "lawlessness."

The other thing is everyone has to claim a piece of Key West. "I've been visiting since 1971," says the idiot presenter proudly, and one is supposed to wonder how he gets out alive every time. Yet they chose not to interview the bums that sit in Mallory Square and read books! Hey we have a better class of bum too! I'll bet some one on the streets of Key West, outside of myself, understands corporate tax fraud as clearly as food stamp fraud. You just have to want to make that point. Which is why I don't actually have TV service at my home. I have better things to do than be indoctrinated by advertising, thanks. So let's see, I live in Key West, I have a tattoo, I drink alcohol, I don't have a suit or tie, I don't have cable, I ride a scooter, and I don't like living on the mainland. Shit, I guess I fit the stereotype?

It's boring but true, Key West operates thanks to people like me who show up everyday day at work just like "normal" people on the mainland. I have bank accounts and bills, health insurance and a pension plan, and the last time I checked I wasn't wanted anywhere in these United States. Which is not to say there isn't something different and special about Key West. For those of us who have a hard time masking our eccentricities Key West is an emotional refuge, a place where people don't necessarily feel the need to point out you are weird but they learn to deal with you. This is a town where men on stage dressed in tutus entertain and are celebrated for their peculiar talent. Someone like me oblivious and uninterested in being fashionable or blending in doesn't make any kind of a ripple. My neighbors let me wander with my dog taking pictures like a tourist and talking to myself while I go, unseen. It is a relief compared to life in the mainstream where my accent draws attention to me, my scooter draws attention to me and my choice of clothing draws attention to me, usually negative. Here I find my own private liberation and I like it very much.

City Commissioner Rossi a man who owns the Rick's complex on Duval and who ought by rights to be as rich as Croesus as a result of selling so much alcohol to so many inebriates has publicly lamented the passing of the time when Key West was a backwater and filled with "characters." It's hard to maintain characters in town when the cost of living is jacked out of sight by people who have made a fortune on that fact and who feel powerless to create a more appealing city from the results. The Studios At Key West does more for this town than most, pulling in artists and writers and creating a small universe of thought in a town dedicated to the worship of Bacchus. But even for them it's like pulling teeth to get financial support from the big wigs.

In Key West some people walk to work, but work they do, just like anyplace else, and worries about bums or art take second place, to remembering to pack your lunch (eating out daily is for visitors):

The other question that comes up is why do we vote for Mosquito Control? There has been talk of folding it into county government, that was popular when the district was spending money rather wildly and pissing off more than one taxpayer. However I suppose there are places in this country where Mosquito Control is an alien concept but around here the "Bug Board" gets a lot more attention than you might expect. It's a response to a need in a town where the climate never freezes and where people used to die by the thousand from yellow fever a hundred years ago. Key West unlike many towns in America, has at its core a phalanx of residents born and bred in this town, who give it it's true identity and it's ability to persevere as a community. The Conchs, as much as they may be derided as inbred Bubbas, are actually the people who provide the solid foundation upon which the flighty incomers come and go and pretend to belong. If you took the Conchs away from Key West not only would daily functions fall apart, what was left would look like St Pete Beach. A nice beach town but nothing memorable.

Key West is pretty, and some people are colorful, quite a few are boring and some like to tell everyone else what to do, which are the group that irritate me the most. As the years pass I fear the live and let live ideals of fifty years ago will be diluted to extinction, and then no one will even bother to do silly interviews about a silly little no account place at the end of the road.

And yes, there is phone service, high speed internet, daily mail and parcel delivery, potable water from a pipe, reliable electricity (mostly) and milder weather than most of the rest of the country seems to enjoy year round. You can fly here, drive here or come by ferry. We pay taxes and vote and there are more churches than you can shake a stick at along with a couple of synagogues and a mosque. We answer 911 calls twenty four hours a day and we do have police, fire, ambulance and a hospital to take care of you. The fishing's not bad either, I'm told, and children are welcome. Don't believe what you see on television.

Key West on Dwellable

 

Posted with Blogsy

Key West, The Freedom of Christmas Lights

It is said Cuba and Key West have strong historical ties, and it is true, yet over the past half century those ties have loosened somewhat, forced apart by the continuing embargo against free travel from the land of the free to the godless Communists, never mind vice versa. We are free to eat fast food drive large cars and have our phones tapped with less protest than Cubans struggle against their obvious indignities.

I think of that separation often, ironic as it is when we are forbidden to be free, and especially when I listen to Radio Rebelde (620am) and all their serious posturing at "round tables" when they talk about the issues of the day affecting Cuba. They tend to be as boring and unmemorable as the parrots of our free and soulless press. I went to see "Twelve Years a Slave" the true story, accurately told and rendered into a movie historians tell us, of a free black man tricked into slavery and who, able to read and write could tell in painful detail of his appalling captivity. The film highlighted for me the helplessness of one and all, everyone made less by slavery, slaves, owners, and above all the bystanders of good will, those we white people of the audience imagined ourselves to be. Watching Benedict Cumberbatch save Platt's life and then apologize for selling him to a brutal owner as no one else would pay the mortgage he owed on Platt's life, I knew that we all fall together under the wheels of brutality and inhumanity as society demands of us. Even today President Obama's many political shortcomings pale in the face of his unspoken shortcoming that affronts so many of his white opponents. I voted for him three times and though he has not delivered on his promises, which politician does? I am glad I was one among millions that put a black man in the white man's house for the first time. It annoys the shit out of his enemies who are without doubt less likely to do good by commission than President Obama will do ill by omission.

Cuba was deprived of Christmas for almost three decades on the spurious grounds that the holiday interfered with the sugar harvest. Our political friends in Saudi Arabia absolutely forbid any Christmas displays, but our enemy the godless Cubans now get to celebrate the almost universal holiday. Not as extravagantly as we do:

The home above in New Town was facing a portion of flooded street, giving it the appearance of being on a lake. Below a neighbor looked like an enchanted forest. After the movie my wife asked that I drive us up Staples Avenue to see what we might see.

Old Town wooden homes get the attention this time of year but I, like my wife, enjoy the quiet streets away from the bars, the family homes decorated in traditional style, as irrelevant as it may be to our lack of Nordic hardiness.

The decorations coming as they do for only one month out of the year, do actually serve that original purpose of lighting the darkest season of the year.

Things at 24 degrees North Latitude don't get terribly extreme. It is warmer than it might be thanks to the Gulf Stream nearby, and winters are correondingly mild but daylight and night time doesn't get terribly out of whack summer or winter thanks to the position of these islands relatively close to the Equator. Were it not for summer time which permits the sun to set close to 8:30pm, daylight year round would vary by perhaps an hour from six o'clock. As it is we are now getting dark at six on winter time.

In Alaska our compatriots get not much sun at all this week, and the ones at the top none at all. So Christmas lights for them might really represent a valuable Yule log burning brightly to keep the impenetrable darkness at bay. In Key West Christmas lights are a lovely burst of color.

I don't find many singularly religious representations in these lights that are symbols to actually celebrate a religious holiday. They are lovely but they don't seem terribly Christian to me, and I'm not religious, by any stretch. So this year I am working the night of the lighted boat parade so these lights will have to do.

We see stars and icicles and lots of lovely colors, there are a few manger scenes celebrating the historically inaccurate notion that Rome would have held a census in mid winter, but though I looked for them I didn't find them this time out. Festival of Lights is enough I suppose.

And in the end, next month we will be back to this. Which I like just fine the other eleven months of the year.

Simplicity: who will trumpet thy virtues?

Posted with Blogsy