I have noted previously that Key West is a noisy town, it could be no other way with 25,000 people crammed onto an island four miles by two (6 kms by 3). Add to that all the noise of modern living, engines, planes, electric appliances and the curse of amplified music and it will be clear why I like the peace and quiet of my suburban island. Some people seek the peace I crave on a city sidewalk:
Some find eternal peace at Dean Lopez Funeral Home on Simonton Street, which puts me in mind of the joke about what do you call a man wearing a suit in Key West? Answer: "Defendant!" Or in this case the nattily dressed gent with the bright red tie turned away from the viewfinder is I guess, an undertaker:
The chickens don't care about the funeral parlor, which I have visited twice this year to observe the traditional wake with the dead sleeping in monstrously expensive coffins. I have instructed my wife to box me in pine and burn the whole mess before expelling my ashes at sea. If God can't reconstitute me for Armageddon, too bad I guess, though skipping the Apocalypse has its appeal.
Don't let's forget the living need somewhere to live, and despite all the gloomy economic news, with worse I am sure to follow shortly, finding a bed in Key West remains absurdly expensive if you were thinking about Old Town in particular:
FLS means first month and last month's rent along with a security deposit so I'm guessing this shoe box will need $4,000 to move in and that doesn't count money to hook up utilities or to buy beer. Or this, which needs $200 a month more but does include the cost of gas which should be miniscule as there will be no heating needed this winter:
Renting in Key West is as gruesome for the landlord as it is the tenant, and horror stories abound of drunks and drug addicts inviting people in and getting stuck with unwanted roommates. Landlords get stuck with unreliable tenants too, and they all of them end up calling the police to sort out their domestic arrangements. Another reason I like working dispatch as a civilian rather than being on the road with all these fruit loops. Perhaps as I am so indifferent to the human condition I should have been a cat, though perhaps a cat with a head, unlike this one:
Cats neither buy nor sell homes which puts them in a league of their own as the city is overrun with feral (wild for those of you not steeped in Latin) cats. Another reason not to live in the city. You will be sharing your yard and eventually you soft hearted thing, your food bill with the neighborhood strays.
Some find eternal peace at Dean Lopez Funeral Home on Simonton Street, which puts me in mind of the joke about what do you call a man wearing a suit in Key West? Answer: "Defendant!" Or in this case the nattily dressed gent with the bright red tie turned away from the viewfinder is I guess, an undertaker:The chickens don't care about the funeral parlor, which I have visited twice this year to observe the traditional wake with the dead sleeping in monstrously expensive coffins. I have instructed my wife to box me in pine and burn the whole mess before expelling my ashes at sea. If God can't reconstitute me for Armageddon, too bad I guess, though skipping the Apocalypse has its appeal.Don't let's forget the living need somewhere to live, and despite all the gloomy economic news, with worse I am sure to follow shortly, finding a bed in Key West remains absurdly expensive if you were thinking about Old Town in particular:FLS means first month and last month's rent along with a security deposit so I'm guessing this shoe box will need $4,000 to move in and that doesn't count money to hook up utilities or to buy beer. Or this, which needs $200 a month more but does include the cost of gas which should be miniscule as there will be no heating needed this winter:Renting in Key West is as gruesome for the landlord as it is the tenant, and horror stories abound of drunks and drug addicts inviting people in and getting stuck with unwanted roommates. Landlords get stuck with unreliable tenants too, and they all of them end up calling the police to sort out their domestic arrangements. Another reason I like working dispatch as a civilian rather than being on the road with all these fruit loops. Perhaps as I am so indifferent to the human condition I should have been a cat, though perhaps a cat with a head, unlike this one:Cats neither buy nor sell homes which puts them in a league of their own as the city is overrun with feral (wild for those of you not steeped in Latin) cats. Another reason not to live in the city. You will be sharing your yard and eventually you soft hearted thing, your food bill with the neighborhood strays..
Somebody wants you to buy their hideously expensive mansion and if you happen across a motorcycle cluttering up the front yard, don't take it amiss, they just skipped the chapter on Presentation, when they were boning up on How To Sell Your House Quickly:
"Preferred Properties" indeed. At least park a Triumph in your front yard if you want to attract upper crust punters, I say. Or here is a commercial property on Simonton at Fleming, offered apparently by the Addams family:
A lick of paint perhaps, in a tough market? They aren't quite aware it seems to me that we need to try a little bit harder now, than in the heady days of no document loans and the like. The dude at the Carriage Trade on Eaton street sits in front of his place unperturbed by life's vicissitudes. He has the Key West thing down pat by reading the paper right on a busy street while he pretends he is far away and quite alone:
The Carriage Trade keeps eccentric hours for lunch and occasional dinners and though I haven't eaten there for years I loved the prix fixe one item menu served on a delightful shaded patio during the winter months only. Meanwhile I spotted a family of tourists at one of my favorite people watching places in Old Town. I know it's fashionable to despise Starbucks but they have street-side windows in air conditioning and the coffee is delicious to a man that doesn't feel moved to drink his coffee at industrial strength. I did not grow up to believe coffee and battery acid should be indistinguishable, as some people seem to insist these days:
Further up Duval (towards the southern end, that is) I saw a rather evocative painting in the store that calls itself Cuba!Cuba! which illustration focuses on the elderly autos Americans fondly believe are still cluttering the streets of the Forbidden Isle. I believe the Japanese and Europeans have been assiduously filling the void created by our extravagant embargo but I like the picture nonetheless:
Key West's history is linked to Havana and no doubt will be once again when the family tiff between Castro and the Diaz-Balarts is mended. I look forward to that day. Meanwhile I look elsewhere for signs of history and they are everywhere, little placards, placed by the Historical Society and frequently with no explanation of what they are about:
This next one celebrates Key West's first private hospital in the city that had the State's first public library though it is unclear if blacks enjoyed the same access, and in this case private almost certainly means whites only. It's the sort of thing one thinks about as one reads the bigotry in public noticeboards online in the Keys on the subject of Barack Obama. Is that name even American as one indignant bigot asked on the Coconut Telegraph recently!
Or one can take the whole historical thing with a pinch of salt, as seen on Peacon Lane at Eaton Street:
I have noticed a slight chill in the air though I don't think the few visitors in town feel that way. Autumnal breezes are cooling either the Keys or my overheated imagination. though I am sure I spotted my first Christmas Tree of 2008. This is I think a Yuletide tree, oh pagan object:
I am not fond of Christmas, and surely that comes as no surprise, as I view the holiday (Holy Day, no?) as a massive advertising campaign and I get thoroughly exhausted by the incessant repetitiveness of the season. Besides I don't like snow and that is an insipid symbol of Christmas visible even on this excessively early tree. On the subject of holidays I saw this splendid advertisement at Blossom's Grocery for a forthcoming essay on Elgin Lane. It looks like a joke but this town has a sizable Cuban population, remember:
Cubans celebrate holidays by doing a luau, however in Key West they have to do it their way as digging a hole in the ground is next to impossible and entirely unproductive as the water table is far too high. So they put their dead pigs into metal lined boxes and cook 'em whole. If you want to adopt this aboriginal practice now you know where to go to get yours. Dead goats I don't much like and yes, I resent the whole goat cheese fad that has swept North America. Why anybody wants to eat cheese that tastes of goat I'll never understand. However this is America and if you want to eat cheese reminiscent of barnyards you are free to do so. In that spirit I saw this bumper sticker on a car. It made me rather sad, observing the rust stains seeping through the long since faded message, and it's bedraggled state struck a chord this difficult year:
Personally I prefer the sentiment I've seen expressed elsewhere, God Bless Everyone, No Exceptions. But that I have to admit is as close as I can get to cloying sentiment of the sort better suited to Christmas. Besides if God did bless everyone, no one would know they were blessed, now would they? Can you see what a burden it is to be me? I toldyou I have too much time to think because I ride a motorcycle...
"Preferred Properties" indeed. At least park a Triumph in your front yard if you want to attract upper crust punters, I say. Or here is a commercial property on Simonton at Fleming, offered apparently by the Addams family:A lick of paint perhaps, in a tough market? They aren't quite aware it seems to me that we need to try a little bit harder now, than in the heady days of no document loans and the like. The dude at the Carriage Trade on Eaton street sits in front of his place unperturbed by life's vicissitudes. He has the Key West thing down pat by reading the paper right on a busy street while he pretends he is far away and quite alone:The Carriage Trade keeps eccentric hours for lunch and occasional dinners and though I haven't eaten there for years I loved the prix fixe one item menu served on a delightful shaded patio during the winter months only. Meanwhile I spotted a family of tourists at one of my favorite people watching places in Old Town. I know it's fashionable to despise Starbucks but they have street-side windows in air conditioning and the coffee is delicious to a man that doesn't feel moved to drink his coffee at industrial strength. I did not grow up to believe coffee and battery acid should be indistinguishable, as some people seem to insist these days:Further up Duval (towards the southern end, that is) I saw a rather evocative painting in the store that calls itself Cuba!Cuba! which illustration focuses on the elderly autos Americans fondly believe are still cluttering the streets of the Forbidden Isle. I believe the Japanese and Europeans have been assiduously filling the void created by our extravagant embargo but I like the picture nonetheless:Key West's history is linked to Havana and no doubt will be once again when the family tiff between Castro and the Diaz-Balarts is mended. I look forward to that day. Meanwhile I look elsewhere for signs of history and they are everywhere, little placards, placed by the Historical Society and frequently with no explanation of what they are about:This next one celebrates Key West's first private hospital in the city that had the State's first public library though it is unclear if blacks enjoyed the same access, and in this case private almost certainly means whites only. It's the sort of thing one thinks about as one reads the bigotry in public noticeboards online in the Keys on the subject of Barack Obama. Is that name even American as one indignant bigot asked on the Coconut Telegraph recently!Or one can take the whole historical thing with a pinch of salt, as seen on Peacon Lane at Eaton Street:I have noticed a slight chill in the air though I don't think the few visitors in town feel that way. Autumnal breezes are cooling either the Keys or my overheated imagination. though I am sure I spotted my first Christmas Tree of 2008. This is I think a Yuletide tree, oh pagan object:I am not fond of Christmas, and surely that comes as no surprise, as I view the holiday (Holy Day, no?) as a massive advertising campaign and I get thoroughly exhausted by the incessant repetitiveness of the season. Besides I don't like snow and that is an insipid symbol of Christmas visible even on this excessively early tree. On the subject of holidays I saw this splendid advertisement at Blossom's Grocery for a forthcoming essay on Elgin Lane. It looks like a joke but this town has a sizable Cuban population, remember:Cubans celebrate holidays by doing a luau, however in Key West they have to do it their way as digging a hole in the ground is next to impossible and entirely unproductive as the water table is far too high. So they put their dead pigs into metal lined boxes and cook 'em whole. If you want to adopt this aboriginal practice now you know where to go to get yours. Dead goats I don't much like and yes, I resent the whole goat cheese fad that has swept North America. Why anybody wants to eat cheese that tastes of goat I'll never understand. However this is America and if you want to eat cheese reminiscent of barnyards you are free to do so. In that spirit I saw this bumper sticker on a car. It made me rather sad, observing the rust stains seeping through the long since faded message, and it's bedraggled state struck a chord this difficult year:Personally I prefer the sentiment I've seen expressed elsewhere, God Bless Everyone, No Exceptions. But that I have to admit is as close as I can get to cloying sentiment of the sort better suited to Christmas. Besides if God did bless everyone, no one would know they were blessed, now would they? Can you see what a burden it is to be me? I toldyou I have too much time to think because I ride a motorcycle...