Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Christmas Shopping

Christmas shopping is down they tell us, as Americans worry about the economy (and Tiger Woods chasing blonde white women), so in these times I am willing to share a secret. Cheap souvenirs are to be found here, not in t-shirt shops of Duval Street. Cheyenne likes the car but she always likes to try it on and go for a stroll. Walgreens is not pet friendly.
This chain store is clearly not located in Old Town. When the Conchs sold their rickety wooden cottages and moved out to the wilderness of what became New Town, after World War Two they built ranch homes and around 1965 Searstown appeared, a proper shopping mall as was. It all looks rather quaint these days but box stores proliferated along North Roosevelt Boulevard. A few years ago Home Depot arrived next to Walgreens, after Scotty's chain left the Keys. And so we modernize. Twenty four hour shopping- what a concept! Albertsons is also open 24 hours a day so if you time it right you can be a perfect hermit. Though who needs to buy fishing tackle at 2 am I don't know. Easier? Really?
Snowmen, Jesus, Yule logs, sparklers, what the hell, it's all grist for the commercial mill.
This is what we are after: Be still my beating heart, every useless stereotypical image in one souvenir:
I am the world's worst shopper. Do you really need this? If you do now you know where to find it.

They were annoyingly short of bumper stickers but Key chains they had by the dozen:
This happily is the only snow you will ever see in Key West. And yes the actual beaches are about that big and no bigger:
There is absolutely no limit to how far Mammon will stick his camel's nose under the edge of the tent, is there?
I took these pictures before the advent of the recent cold front but I have no doubt this woman will wear this style of winter clothing through most of the next few months:
Lines are endemic to Walgreens. Note to self: next time shop at 2am.
Doesn't this look modern and bright and anywhere USA? Tourists will stay away in droves so if you want to meet locals you know where to come:
This essay is a reminder that you have not many hours left to shop for Christmas so get your snow covered asses over to your own local friendly Walgreens and be patient in line. I hope your souvenir aisle is as interesting as ours.