Saturday, July 7, 2012

Virginia Signs

You won't see signs like this in Key West:




Or this in my home town that lives and dies by tourism and denigrates visitors as "tourons" ie: tourist - morons. Staunton Virginia has a slightly smarter attitude toward the people that bring the money to town.




This is a well known school I am told in a state filled with higher education. I read about it on ADVrider, the motorcycle website, in a ride report written by a deaf rider who graduated the place.




Some people do guard their parking spaces with Key West like vituperative signs but notice how worn out the paint is:




And these tow away signs seem like an after thought especially as there was no mention of the tow company that might actually have your car. Here in Key West where towing really happens and all the time, we give you the name and phone number of the offending tow company. Not that visitors to Key West obey the no parking signs...




Here they even have a chain link fence on weekends to keep people's cars safe from towing.




Silly signs exist too in Staunton (pronounced "Stan-ton") Only officials may trespass here? So is it trespassing if they trespass?




This sign says the tree is a kiosk. I refused to believe it.




Cheyenne found food in the bogie wheels of the caboose, but technically she wasn't climbing or playing. Though why they don't open these cabooses as playgrounds I don't know. Oh yes, I remember because you'll sue someone with deep pockets if your brat overdoes it and hurts himself on the caboose. Thus we teach self reliance and taking responsibility for oneself.




I am always astonished when I am answering 911 calls when the caller tells me a "gentleman" is trespassing on their porch. Really? I am tempted to ask, is he in evening dress and a top hat? This one has adopted al tire of Robert E Lee to illustrate the concept and aside from his treason he was in all respects we are told, a gentleman.




I really wanted to know what inaccessible parts this contraption is supposed to reach. I very much doubt a gentleman would pose the question.




I thought "ACME" was reserved for Roadrunner cartoon movies.




This one puzzled me across the street from the SPCA thrift store. Faith Hope and Vietcong?? I had to investigate.




Victory is odd enough in the context but once again, like Saigon in 1975 we declare victory and withdraw from Iraq and Afghanistan. Perhaps now we will have enough money to maintain Saturday postal delivery.




I saw the above and thought that was a somewhat narrow view but then below someone else made their feelings known in public in chalk like a graffito.




This next sign I saw on the road to Harpers Ferry and is typical of West Virginia sign posting. I speculated they are oversize for all sorts of stereotypically rude reasons but nevertheless they are odd and unique in size compared to anywhere else I have driven in the world. Perhaps they really are licensing blind drivers in West Virginia?




Living proof Highway One is more than a sign on the Overseas Highway:




And my violets are green:




While my instinct is to chide the owner of this sign when one considers how shitty people are about picking up after their dogs one can only sympathize.




The thank you at the bottom of the sign made it perfect. Try some good manners next time you are putting out a ”fuck off" sign in Key West, please.


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