They used to call them tailor's dummies, but they evolved into a new line of work known as mannequins, and in Key west, rather than showing off clothing in an effort to make a sale they are used to show off...themselves? ...beads? It's an odd way to entice people to part with their money, this Key West way of closing a sale. Alcohol, puerile naughtiness and over the top advertising promises. It works, which leaves me even more puzzled. People love this stuff.
I know I don't have the mind of a grocer because every time I find myself in despair in an aisle at the grocery store looking for some not necessarily obscure condiment my wife put on the list I cannot fathom where the store management might have decided to hide it. I would imagine UHT milk would go in the milk dection; not a bit of it, they put UHT milk in the cake mix section. Why? Possibly because they want me to shop less and by extension eat less. I refuse to become a starving artist all the same and i battle the uphill supermarket aisles until the list is done.
The offer of a free blow job at Willie T's is a healthy reminder we are living in peculiar times. In a nation rendered fearful of its own collective shadow posting phone numbers as part of a silly joke seems somehow less than funny in itself, and allying it with the bad taste of the text of the joke itself is just a reminder that education, civility and taste have taken a back seat to a lack of imgination, or humor or original thinking. Practical jokes need a spark of brilliance to be funny, a touch of wit or even elegance. "Free Blow Job" scrawled on a dollar bill fails on all counts.
Oh and the t-shirt shops...they just lower the tone even more.
A colleague who lives nearby and really does believe that it's always five o'clock in Key West assured me they are still open. I breath easier knowing that.