Last night my wife woke up in screaming pain. Which meant we needed to visit Marathon quam celerrime and happily Doctor Collins had a space available before lunch.

There are so many women with auto immune diseases you'd think somebody somewhere would be wondering why, but treating the symptoms becomes the way forward in modern medicine. And we all know that treatments bring side effects but when the agony is unsupportable one bites the chemical bullet.

Rheumatoid arthritis is a disease that immobilizes thousands of women, so my wife uses a regimen of strict and copious exercise and a large helping of good luck to keep the insidious disease at bay. Some women are completely immobilized by rheumatoid arthritis, but so far she isn't. When exercise and chemistry and luck sometimes fail her we end up chatting with Dr Collins' skeletal assistant.

It was the ankle that flared horribly this time but it was better by the time we left the house, such that slow supported hobbling was in order.

I guess it was a joint in them there bones that was giving trouble but the more I checked the plastic ankle and compared it to the x ray chart and the less convinced I became that science was the answer. I used to work for the Cristian Scientists years ago on their radio service and they never offered health insurance because when they get sick they pray. I remember my editor was laid up in bed with a broken bone when I filed a story and he edited me through gritted teeth. He was cheerful and prayerful though and never minded I thought his was an act of lunacy. Could he have been right to pray to mend a broken bone? Bollocks I say, thank God for modern medicine is my prayer.

We had to wait a bit but the good doctor provides more entertainment than a mere x ray for his waiting patients. There was a table full of bones which we waggled happily for ten minutes as we waited and speculated about her condition.

"What do you suppose this is for?" she asked as I studied the skeleton for answers. The good doctor came by soon enough, diagnosed no broken bones and prescribed better living through chemistry and no exercise for four days.

We were out $20 later and on our way to lunch. I guess we could have stayed home and done the Christian Science thing for free but science science got my vote today. Oh, and health insurance. Tough for those that have none. Don't you hate those Canadian socialists who don't have to worry out such trifles?
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