Saturday, September 5, 2009

Party Politics

From the daily KOS, this is what the site describes as a re-write on an old joke for a modern dilemma:
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Once upon a time there was an enlightened political party that valued reason and democracy above all else. They were innovative, championed analysis, personal responsibility, and led this country through its darkest hour, preserving the fragile experiment in citizen government, and freeing millions of citizens from the scourge of slavery and the lash of a master’s whip. They can proudly and rightly call Jefferson, Lincoln, and Eisenhower one of their own. But sad to say, that party was hijacked by perhaps well meaning but nevertheless deluded ignoramuses, a few assorted lunatics and violent gun nuts, the lingering residue of the Ku Klux Klan, and gobs of opportunistic sociopaths who created a bizarro alternate universe so simplistic and seductive that they all fell completely helpless under its siren spell.

A few years later a young woman was about to finish her last year of medical school. She considered herself to be a very progressive and educated woman, but her father was a staunch social conservative. One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to knowledge, medicine, and science.

He stopped her and asked her, "How are you doing in medical school?"

She answered that she was about to graduate with a 4.0 GPA, but it had been really tough. She had to study complex subjects for hours and days, and never had time to go out and party. She didn't have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because she was spending all her time studying things like advanced chemistry, biology, pharmacology, and anatomy. If not for $50,000 in student loans and a hitch in the Army Reserves, she never would have been able to afford it.

He asked, "How is your friend Mary?"

She replied that Mary was ‘going to’ an unaccredited bible school by mail, there were no lesson plans or exams, and she never studied, didn't have a job, but went to all the parties and was very popular at the mega church. She was always whining about evolution or birth control and expected everyone else to clean up after her constant meddling and poor advice. Mary didn’t even have to show up for classes because there weren’t any.

Dad then asked his daughter why she didn't go to the Dean's office and request that her real MD be given it to her friend who paid 29.99 for a fake diploma at Patriot Freedom Liberty Republic University. That way they would both be doctors and her friend would make just as much as she did.

The daughter angrily fired back, "Ahh, Dad? For the thousandth time, she’s not my friend, she’s a delusional pompous dumbass who thinks science and education are evil. I busted my ass in med school and spent a year and half stitching wounded soldiers back together in Iraq while she prayed for the end of the world and tried to prevent as many children, students, soldiers, and senior citizens as possible from access to decent healthcare. Letting that ignorant, spiteful, racist chicken hawk anywhere near a seriously injured patient would be like signing their death certificate. Have you gone bonkers?"

The father slowly nodded and smiled and said, "Welcome to the modern Republican Party!”