I got pulled over the other evening on my way in to work on my wife's 150cc Vespa. I was following a very erratic van on Highway One and when at last the was a long open stretch of highway with no oncoming traffic and a dotted yellow line. I went for it. The van driver realized to his horror a moped was passing him. He sped up. I slowed to slip back in behind him. He slowed down to keep me in the oncoming lane. I sped up. he sped up. I said "fuck it" and kept going by now running out of passing room. As I entered the nom passing been an oncoming car convinced the van I was serious, but unfortunately the oncoming car was a sheriff's deputy. He was very kind when I explained my predicament and I got a verbal warning and arrived at work with four minutes to spare.
Two days ago I was following this silver excrescence into Key West and he was doing a magnificent job of sitting in the passing lane at 50 in a 55 and plowed imperturbably into Stock Island blocking the left lane as he went. "Slower Traffic Keep Right" the signs instruct but he wasn't reading signs. He ducked into the right lane at the last minute to turn right into Key West and as I came alongside I saw a gray haired man my age, who should know better - texting.
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