Sunday, April 6, 2014
From The Archives: Tropic Cinema
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Tourist Town
Key West Bight one fine Spring Morning.
Key West the picture postcard, sun reflecting off still waters.
Tourists negotiating a ride on those waters...
They say owners end up looking like their dogs...
...and I know I do.
I saw this woman cleaning a life ring off a charter boat:
One more new luxury resort is making progress on the waterfront next to Schooner Wharf Bar. I wonder how the guests will like the music from across the lane all day and late at night. I see lawsuits and bitter recriminations in the future. Tourists like their towns just so.
Friday, April 4, 2014
A Walk, A Movie, And A Night At Work
The southeasterly breeze has been keeping us refreshed these last several days, and fitting on the beach in my folding chair that I keep in the trunk of the car is a favorite activity. Aside from the view of the iconic Old Bahia Honda bridge I like this spot because there is no beach!
What that means is gawkers come and quickly get bored and bugger off back to the Highway to reach some more sandy spot. Cheyenne likes to lie in the grass, snoring loudly until she likes to get up and cool off by paddling in the water. Dead seaweed gets washed up by the incessant winds and that adds to tourist discomfort as they expect not only a sandy shoreline but a clean one too!
I caught Cheyenne rising up like a furry Venus from the seaweed and saltwater, in the act of shaking herself, pleased to have cooled off on an 82 degree afternoon. Then we climbed the hill created by Flagler's engineers to get the 1912 railroad tracks onto the elevated bridge. Cheyenne found a bush for a short nap in the shade.
Driving home I got to enjoy being for a short while, suspended between a blue sky and a turquoise sea, and as I was in the car I could do nothing. Human bring versus human doing. Cheyenne got her bath once home and then she passed out from excess activity. I got ready to go into town and she barely opened one eye as she stretched out on her favorite piece of floor, not her bed, not the couch but the floor.
I was alone for the 3:50 show of Monuments Men a World War Two caper about soldiers assigned to retrieve stolen art works. I was so alone in the George screening room at the tropic I behaved very badly indeed and sent texts periodically to my wife from my seat at the back.
It was loosely based on a true story but in this case embellished into a melodrama with a stellar cast and an dolly paced story. One minute comedy, the next minute tragedy and over it all hovered the very real truth that the Germans wrecked and looted thousands of artworks as they occupied Europe and Russia.
It ended awful close to my start time at work but the Bonneville was in rare form and we raced away to the police station where I arrived with give minutes to spare. I had done rather too much stuff and not taken enough naps for my taste but it has been a lovely day. No alcohol, no bars, not much human companionship but of that I would have plenty all night as I sat up dispatching with Nick and Shannon.
I arrived just in time for the movie but as I parked the Bonneville an old dude with a BMW Custom Cruiser, a unique bike, asked what year my frisky young colt was. He told me he had put 300,000 miles on his 1960s model and I wanted to hear more but the movie was starting so I had to rush off, rather rudely. Not at all in the spirit of the laid back Florida Keys.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Home Sweet Home
Let's face it, there's no place like home. Especially when it's sunny but not hot, breezy but not cold and your dog needs to recover from a long road trip.
Work has been interesting to come back to, no big changes, everything tools along just fine without you...as though you were never there. My dog slips back into her routine the same way, a hop into the back of the car, a walk, a meal and a nap.
We went downtown yesterday morning, Cheyenne and I, just to make sure Duval Street hadn't fallen off the continent in my ten day absence. You know how everyone has two minimalist jobs, maybe three in Key West...I wonder if I'd get free Crocs?
And people are still dumping food where my predator dog can hunt it down and kill it. No fast food joints on Ocracoke but there are a few in Key West.
We ambled down Caroline Street, wandered down Duval and crossed to Whithead Street, where the county courthouse is located and thus so is the marker for the end of US Highway One. I had hoped they opened at eight but a helpful janitor shook her and told me eight-thirty. Bad news for my bladder. Besides, what is all this shit about the "end of the rainbow..." and "endless opportunities..." Someone was high when they chose that sentiment for public consumption.
Key West has done well for me but I'm a lazy sod, not motivated by ambition, and happy to get time off, some overtime, old fashioned health benefits. I don't need to make waves or change what works for the people in charge. Years ago I was a really good radio reporter but sainted Ronald Reagan deregulated the airwaves to reduce everything to common denominator crap, the stuff you hear today put out by remote newsroom. I quit before I got canned, wondering what to do next and where to do it. A lack of a career is a joyous thing if you like to travel.
I feel lucky I landed my police job, much better pay and benefits and better prospects too than I never expected. And I landed it in a town I like to work in. But it does limit you, this much pleasure in where you live. You got to think three times before you decide to quit. The weird thing is I don't want to. For the first time in my shiftless life I am not looking for the next good thing. It's here and now.
When I was a youngster I was footloose and fancy free, I quit jobs and moved and I saw a lot of this country. Nowadays with a national economy in flux, not booming like they tell us, work is a precious thing. Even if I wanted to I wouldn't budge right now. I like Ocracoke, a lot, it's such a small intimate village. It's a great vacation spot, with no work and no prospects and damnit, they had snow this past damnable winter. Ocracoke is my Key West, the place I like to go and think and rest, and work off the stress of Spring Break.
So, dispite the irritations I'm glad to be home. Key West is the hometown even though I live outside the city limits. The work I do gives me intimate knowledge of streets and lanes and peoples' bad habits. One day Key West will get it together to work out a plan for dealing with those few hardcore bums who don't contribute and don't want to learn to either. The tourists come and step over them.
And yet I can see the attraction even for bums, perfect weather, lots of music, art, literature and public debate about every little thing because this is a town that inspires passion. Even on skid row I guess. I'm glad to walk my dog here but I'd still walk without her, there's so much to see every time I stroll.
Pretty nice to be home, and nice to have a home to come back to.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Big Yellow Taxi
So Garythetourist asked me what I thought of the proposal to spend seventy seven million dollars to restore the old Seven Mile Bridge. Hmm thought I, what could be bad about that? At least they aren't paying to pave a Pigeon Key with luxury homes! Unhappily the money will come in dribs and drabs over decades, so I will be dead before the last of the money is assigned to Monroe County by the State under this plan. Florida's DOT pays $57 million over a 30-year period; Monroe County pays $14 million and the City of Marathon pays $5 million over some unspecified period of time. The old bridge was built just over a century ago and nowadays is used as a fishing and walking pier but passenger traffic to Pigeon Key is no longer allowed.

There is a lot of mythology surrounding the so-called Submarine Pens, and Sotheby's website perpetuates the nonsense. They say the seven canals cut into 122 acres of land will produce 26 luxury canal side homes on the land that was "used to house submarines during the Cuban Missile crisis. I wonder how they got unwieldy subs drawing at least fifteen feet into this isolated lagoon that has absolutely no facilities at all, not even cleats to tie the boats off to. And why would they have penned them into these tough hewn canals anyway? No photograph exists showing submarines parked here but you can find lots of subs at their proper docks at Truman Waterfront, as related here: Marker Details - Key West Historic Markers Project.
I believe the submarine pens were created as a project you build officer housing north of the Boca Chica base and the canals were part of that project. Now we will see luxury homes sprout here when some developer scrapes together the asking price of twenty six million bucks, a mere bagatelle in a world sheer a bank CEO gets a bonus that size for getting his too big to fail institution in trouble with the SEC.
Here is my original essay on the Submarine Pens from distant 2008 when my Bonneville was nearly new and Cheyenne was unknown to me.

Someone with a very large back hoe or a plentiful supply of dynamite came to the north shore of Boca Chica Key, at Mile Marker Eight and blew the bejeezus out of the limestone rock. They call these cuts in the rock the Submarine Pens. Thus one could reasonably assume that they were created to dock submarines in... However when you visit these very expensive holes in the water it becomes obvious the best you could do with them is...swim in them!

I don't know who dug them and I don't know when they were created but there are fully seven rectangular holes in the limestone, and to me as a veteran of the Canal they look wider and are definitely longer than the thousand-foot locks of Panama's Eighth Wonder of the World. They also appear to be a great deal less useful, even though they do look quite pretty in a pastoral, unmilitary sort of way:
These holes in the water could be Key West's Stonehenge or perhaps, viewed from the air, they could be the island's crop circles or cousins to the enormous figures drawn in the deserts of South America. Submarines? I don't think so. I've poked around online and the only mention I can find of submarines and Key West are the official docks at Truman Annex, where the Navy was based for a long time. On the north side of Boca Chica Key the long arm of military militariness is still felt at the inner end of the road past the last pens:

The gate has a shiny new lock to protect the radar installation for the nearby Naval Air Station airfield where Navy jets take practice flights:


The thing about the "submarine pens" is that there are no structures alongside them, there are no docks, no cement no signs of any of the shoreside support systems that ships need when they come into port. So the conclusion one draws is that someone somewhere decided to hew out of the living rock a proposal to dock submarines 8 miles east of Key West Harbor across waters too thin to float a sub and instead of completing the channel first, they decided to carve out the pens? If true these things are the most expensive toilet seats the Navy ever sat on. But they do make a pleasant recreational area for Keys civilians, I must say.
And clearly some locals have taken advantage of these unused giant swimming pools. I found a camp site complete with fire ring, tables and chairs and pool "facilities."
This place has been floating around in my consciousness forever, because I have heard people talk about the pens, but I have never previously bothered to come out here. Why? I don't know really despite my self anointed tag as an explorer. Now that I have come out here I feel like a kid discovering a huge new playground, and I'm guessing that weekdays in summer I shall find a corner or two within this "park" I can enjoy by myself on a hot sticky afternoon.

I mentioned to my colleague Diggy that I was planning a trip to explore the submarine pens and he looked at me quizzically, declining to ride his Honda 750 "all the way out" to Mile Marker 8 only to get stopped by a Navy Guard. "Those places are on the Navy base aren't they?" said this Conch graduate of Key West High School. That misconception stayed with me as I swung off Highway One at the Navy Base entrance.
The Navy owns most of the land on Boca Chica ("small mouth" in Spanish) Key, with an active Naval Air Station south of Highway One which bisects the island. On the north side of the island, accessed from the ramped Boca Chica exit from Highway one, lies the mystery of the submarine pens. 
The access road runs parallel to Highway One and then passes through some broken gates. As I rode the Bonneville through the gates I wondered, in a rather paranoiac state of mind, if armed Navy guards were going to leap out of the casuarina trees, armed to the teeth with camouflage sprouting from their helmets. No such thing came to pass, as I rumbled down the tatty old access road. In the distance, beyond Highway One, I could see the hangars at Boca Chica glowing in the evening sun:
And alongside the access road the old outlines of cement bunkers, probably ammunition magazines rose out of the mangroves like large immobile turtles: 
I first rode to the end of the road, snapping pictures as I went, still half wondering if I was in fact trespassing, but after I got to the locked gate I realised that I was alone on an empty, unmarked street open to all. The fact that we in the Keys live on small slivers of land necessarily gives these extra strips of open space value out of all proportion to what you see here. This is an excellent piece of parkland right off my commute and I can see strapping a folding chair to my saddlebag, stuffing a thermos of tea inside the same saddlebag and taking an afternoon to sit in the shade and read in peace and quiet, far from the distractions of modern life. No bums, no radios no nothing to disturb me or my motorcycle.
It isn't as though I have explored the whole place yet, so next time I will have to poke a little bit further, ride a little bit deeper into the undergrowth and check out a few more views.
Nevertheless I don't think that, picturesque though they may be, the Submarine Pens of Boca Chica Key should never reveal the whys and wherefores of their existence, even if military officer housing were the real answer.
PS:
The Submarine Pens were closed and locked to prevent public access a short while later. I was told there was a serious accident there, involving alcohol and lack of judgement of course so to prevent lawsuits and possible loss of life the Navy had decided to close the delightful park-like pens to public access. As always the stupidity of the few impacts the many. Now it seems we may well see even more homes and traffic and so forth originating here where before there was not much. Paving paradise was the refrain I think, coined by Joni Mitchell.























