The Meadows

There are times when I should like to have a pied a terre in the big city so my wife I could take in a show (as they say in the Big Apple) and not have to drive all the way home. This calls into play that amusing party game called What If You Won The Lottery? I might answer "I'd buy a house in The Meadows." Well, actually I wouldn't, there's lots of other things I'd rather do than try to live in two houses at once. However if I had a gun to my head and had to live in the Big City instead of my splendid suburb, this is the neighborhood I'd choose.The Meadows is a neighborhood outside the confines of Old Town, which means the Historic Architecture Review Commission doesn't nail your ass to the floor, but it's old enough , dating to the 1930's that the houses look cute and conch-like.The Meadows is the area between White Street and Eisenhower, and Truman and Angela Street. Eisenhower is short street that connects Truman to Palm Avenue and its a bit urban industrial: The Meadows is not a neighborhood heavily frequented by tourists, and its far enough from the heavy drinking on Duval to require the use of a cab, or a bicycle or (God forbid) a moped. I suppose that were I planning a night of debauchery I would walk to Duval, a pleasant stroll across town at dusk, and ride home in splendor in a cab. But that's just me and I'm dreaming because there's no way I'm moving voluntarily to town. Or taking up debauchery, as unlikely as that may seem.

The Meadows doesn't have much in the way of businesses on offer either, though White Street does have the odd convenience store and restaurant:Angela Street, the northern side of the neighborhood, is typical of The Meadows, wooded and lined with a wide architectural variety of houses:And right across the street, behind the fence is Peary Court, Navy housing. Peary Court used to be open space, littered with large trees and grass and crisscrossed by grassy overgrown streets long since disused. The Navy decided to build on Peary Court and that sent the balloon up, with protesters protesting and people tree sitting and all the panoply of humans acting pissed off. It didn't stop the Navy:Peary Court was in effect, the first big loss suffered by the anti- development crowd. It just happened to be at the hands of the Navy, who is exempt from city planning and municipal taxes and all. These people aren't and they have got their plans through City Hall. They have the cheek to call these 2000 square foot "residences" The Meadows and they want $1.7 million each.There are eight single family homes around a pool in this upscale condo and their advertising web site suggests this is the first step to a better sex life. I'm not joking; Google "The Meadows" and see for yourself. (If you need a link you are too lazy by half), and if that doesn't seem so suave there's another one across the street:No word what this one does to your sex life. How disappointing. Anyway if I were wanting to live in a condo this one below might be more my speed, as long as the neighbors were permanently comatose:It's on White Street at Olivia, and just across the street is this little gem, the Ben Harrison Gallery.Harrison is the author of the a superb, gruesomely detailed biography of Karl Tanzler, the man

who lived with a corpse. There are still people alive in Key West who remember seeing Elena Hoyos' body on display after the necrophilia was revealed, and the whole lurid tale has an air of yesterday's news about it in this small town. And that gallery is worth a look too by the way.

There's something for everyone in The Meadows, even if reading about death isn't your cup of tea. If you need to drink with purpose there's this place:

And if you want to go boating, how convenient, Garrison Bight is right across Eisenhower and there are racks right there:There are religious centers in The Meadows too, and there used to be a Chabad Jewish outfit until they sold the land that has become the sex obsessed Meadows development.

The Unitarians are still there, in their distinctive bunker-like building with its metal louvered shutters:I spent a happy half hour on an abbreviated pre-sunset lunch break riding around the neighborhood, checking out this......and that... ...and the other:The Meadows has homes that look more like they should be in Old town. This is one of a few eyebrow homes left in the city. They were designed to allow upstairs windows to stay open and in the shade to allow airflow. Instead they let hot air in to stagnate.Pretty enough even if it doesn't work.

And today's secret location is Gonzalez Lane. I've been up this street a hundred times and only just figured out it's name when we got a call for service and there it was. The English call these things lock ups and I find them unusual. It's an un-American notion to keep your garage far from your home:

Oooh, there's one for rent. Mmh, perhaps we could use that for a condo?

Actually this is my ideal Meadows home, a Conch cottage, hopefully not too big, but they do tend to stretch out in back. It has a metal roof, mature greenery and a nice wide porch.

And off street parking. Worth its weight in gold, even in this bucolic neighborhood. And its weight in gold I'm betting would be around three quarters of a million devalued US dollars. The Meadows, Key West with half the usual hassle.