Key West Chickens

Every time I come across a group of tourists gawping at chickens on the streets of Key West, I replay a conversation I had with my wife some years ago.
"I think people ought to find something better to do than stop in the street and stare at chickens."
"People don't see that sort of thing that often," she replied gently.
"Really?" said I the fatuous one. " Are you sure?"
"Really." She rarely has to raise her voice to make a point as she is a lot more secure than am I.
"I don't know what the fuss is all about." I sniffed.
"Yes," she continued even more delicately. "Not everyone grew up in an Italian village. In this country people don't let chickens run in the streets."

"Nor should they, " said I, in order to maintain my habit of having the last word.That's the thing, I really don't think chickens should be loose on the streets, but luckily for all concerned my opinions haven't yet made headlines in the corridors of power, so for now the chickens are safe in their very unnatural habitats around town. Like the Post Office on Whitehead Street:Where the Postmaster takes a dim view of the presence of all animals except barnyard fowl apparently:If you are one of the adoring chicken fans that come to Key West and gawp you could do a lot worse than cruise by the Post Office on your rented moped. They seem to be there all the time:

Chickens have their devoted supporters, including one woman who calls herself the Chicken lady though her store on Upper Duval fell on hard times and closed. She keeps a store online I'm told where one can buy junque that properly expresses appreciation for the chickens.

It's not that I hate chickens, nor do I believe they lack personality or deserve to be ill treated. Indeed not, but chickens as a species do have some drawbacks. Lest you have never had the pleasure of growing up as an Italian peasant or as a Key West Conch let me outline them. They are noisy. Roosters (cocks as they are so delightfully known in British/English) crow at any time of the day or night that takes their fancy; the notion that they greet the dawning day by making a hideous racket is a fairy tale. Even if it were true there aren't many Key Westers who willingly rise with the sun.

Chickens root around in the dirt to find their food and in Key West they seem to do quite well. They are free range animals and thus live not confined to small spaces eating chemically laced diets. They enjoy digging holes in flower beds and scatter hummus and leaves across sidewalks. They eat insects and are often praised for this talent, for in the minds of some newer arrivals life would be a constant and losing battle with scorpions and roaches and other repellent insects, were it not for the chickens.The chickens attract tourists, which may be an exaggeration. I suppose it's possible some people might cancel their reservations were the chickens to disappear but I don't think that's an issue. It's true though that their outdoor lifestyle, sitting in trees:

mating loudly and violently:

and exhibiting their charming offspring:

...add to Key West's own particular charm, they say. If that is, you don't have to live with the little perishers. The chickens are protected from molestation like any other animal in the city and cockfighting, though very popular still in the Cuban community is technically illegal. You will sometimes see youngster steal chickens and ride off with them on their mopeds. A solid cockerel is a valuable fighter apparently especially when his comb has been brutally singed off...Weirdly enough chickens are not protected if you are capturing one for the pot. How you prove that I'm not sure; look sincere to the officer I guess. And yes we do get calls in dispatch about people, kids mostly, chasing chickens. And yes we do respond by sending out an officer.

The city has organized more than one program to capture and remove the chickens to a dude ranch on the mainland but the official chicken catcher complained people sabotaged his traps. he made more money selling t-shirts describing his job than by doing the job itself.

Cultural diversity is all well and good but I don't support cock fighting, and for my part though I am one of those people that is not automatically attracted to birds, I would rather let the chickens live peacefully on city streets than harm them. I stop for chickens when I am on the road. In all honesty I'd prefer to see these kinds of birds, Florida natives, exalted for the insect catching abilities:

Quiet, dignified , and undemanding, they are everything Key West's chickens are not. But they are still lethal to scorpions,roaches and all manner of other repellent insect life. Like all natives everywhere they don't get the respect they deserve, and tourists prefer the brawling chickens to the delicately stepping peaceful ibis and egrets and herons.