Christmas shopping is down they tell us, as Americans worry about the economy (and Tiger Woods chasing blonde white women), so in these times I am willing to share a secret. Cheap souvenirs are to be found here, not in t-shirt shops of Duval Street. 
Cheyenne likes the car but she always likes to try it on and go for a stroll. Walgreens is not pet friendly.
This chain store is clearly not located in Old Town. When the Conchs sold their rickety wooden cottages and moved out to the wilderness of what became New Town, after World War Two they built ranch homes and around 1965 Searstown appeared, a proper shopping mall as was. It all looks rather quaint these days but box stores proliferated along North Roosevelt Boulevard. A few years ago Home Depot arrived next to Walgreens, after Scotty's chain left the Keys. And so we modernize. 
Twenty four hour shopping- what a concept! Albertsons is also open 24 hours a day so if you time it right you can be a perfect hermit. Though who needs to buy fishing tackle at 2 am I don't know. Easier? Really?
Snowmen, Jesus, Yule logs, sparklers, what the hell, it's all grist for the commercial mill.
This is what we are after: 
Be still my beating heart, every useless stereotypical image in one souvenir:
I am the world's worst shopper. Do you really need this? If you do now you know where to find it.
They were annoyingly short of bumper stickers but Key chains they had by the dozen:
This happily is the only snow you will ever see in Key West. And yes the actual beaches are about that big and no bigger:
There is absolutely no limit to how far Mammon will stick his camel's nose under the edge of the tent, is there?
I took these pictures before the advent of the recent cold front but I have no doubt this woman will wear this style of winter clothing through most of the next few months:
Lines are endemic to Walgreens. Note to self: next time shop at 2am.
Doesn't this look modern and bright and anywhere USA? Tourists will stay away in droves so if you want to meet locals you know where to come:
This essay is a reminder that you have not many hours left to shop for Christmas so get your snow covered asses over to your own local friendly Walgreens and be patient in line. I hope your souvenir aisle is as interesting as ours.
Cheyenne likes the car but she always likes to try it on and go for a stroll. Walgreens is not pet friendly.
This chain store is clearly not located in Old Town. When the Conchs sold their rickety wooden cottages and moved out to the wilderness of what became New Town, after World War Two they built ranch homes and around 1965 Searstown appeared, a proper shopping mall as was. It all looks rather quaint these days but box stores proliferated along North Roosevelt Boulevard. A few years ago Home Depot arrived next to Walgreens, after Scotty's chain left the Keys. And so we modernize. Twenty four hour shopping- what a concept! Albertsons is also open 24 hours a day so if you time it right you can be a perfect hermit. Though who needs to buy fishing tackle at 2 am I don't know. Easier? Really?Snowmen, Jesus, Yule logs, sparklers, what the hell, it's all grist for the commercial mill.
This is what we are after: Be still my beating heart, every useless stereotypical image in one souvenir:
I am the world's worst shopper. Do you really need this? If you do now you know where to find it.
They were annoyingly short of bumper stickers but Key chains they had by the dozen:
This happily is the only snow you will ever see in Key West. And yes the actual beaches are about that big and no bigger:There is absolutely no limit to how far Mammon will stick his camel's nose under the edge of the tent, is there?
I took these pictures before the advent of the recent cold front but I have no doubt this woman will wear this style of winter clothing through most of the next few months:Lines are endemic to Walgreens. Note to self: next time shop at 2am.Doesn't this look modern and bright and anywhere USA? Tourists will stay away in droves so if you want to meet locals you know where to come:This essay is a reminder that you have not many hours left to shop for Christmas so get your snow covered asses over to your own local friendly Walgreens and be patient in line. I hope your souvenir aisle is as interesting as ours.
10 comments:
Conch:
I am way behind on the blog as I have been inundated with work and the like, but so very glad to finally get somewhat caught up on the posts!
Lo these many years I have been flippantly, nay, carelessly chucking sailcat back to whatever waters from whence I snagged them ...never knowing that, apparently, the Lord himself had chosen that annoying fish to "remind us of his misery"! I just feel like such a jackass! I called Christ's PR people this morning to try and get to the bottom of this. They are undoubtedly busy what with his Birthday just days away, so I have left a message...I will keep you posted.
Hope you and the wife have a safe and Merry Christmas and prosperous New Year!
PS (I just read this morning that home sales may be incrementally on an upward trend which, somehow, is a clear indicator that the recession is well over. WHEW! Though I'll need to keep the phone line open for Christ's PR people, I need to telephone all of my under/unemployed friends and colleagues and advise them that there is noo need to worry!)
Amen, and pass the dust catchers, um, I mean souvenirs.
Here is to a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Copacetic Kwanzaa, and a Replenishing Ramadan
What a strange and exciting world we live in. I never knew you could actually catch something called a crucifix fish. One of my neighbors has a "happy birthday jesus" sign in front of his house next to a pagan fir tree covered in lights. Another has a madonna in reflective pose next to a "support our troops" sign. How exactly isn't clear but bringing them home doesn't seem to be on the cards."Happy christmas" to someone in a foxhole or an advanced fire base seems a rather callous message from the comfort of a home with a Labrador and a job.Even if an appraiser gave me a christmas present of at least $60,000 underwater!
Daily essays will continue until the pain passes...
Mr Conchscooter:
BAH HUMBUG. Luckily we don't participate in gift exchanges for Christmas so I leave the shopping to you, nor as tourists do we purchase trinkets .
We have a false economy right now with the 2010 Olympic Winter Games looming over the horizon. So much has been spent/wasted for this 2 week period so it is hard to really gauge whether the economy is doing well, or not. I had to go to Seattle last Sunday and did not get the feeling that people were easily parting with their hard earned money. I found some great deals and piles of merchandise piled in the aisles but I was just gathering information and left empty handed. I noticed that there is not a lot of discounting but rather "extras" were being bundled with the products
bob
bobskoot: wet coast scootin
We were in Miami yesterday mostly buying dog stuff but it didn't seem crowded by comparison to the boom years. I guess none of us really believes the economy has turned the corner. We ate hot fish and dali seafood at PF Chang's, as we haven't yet found dim sum as we enjoyed in our San Francisco years. So, would you rather pay Vancouver prices for dim sum or Seattle prices for dim sum? Ready to give up socialized health care are you? Wanna swap?
Dear Conch, Bobskoot, Et Al:
I held a series of calls with travel trade journalists yesterday to get their impression of the recovery in 2010. These are a dedicated bunch of professionals who have spent the last three months rooting around in statistical feces to come up with a silver lining. By a four to one majority, they have determined there will be no silver economic silver lining for 2010. (The fifth one lied so I wouldn't know in what bad shape his publication is.)
But they have determined that there is no clearly defined splitting point either. Those with secure jobs and minimal exposure to investment loss are taking advantage of low housing costs, have bought cars, and are still indulging in various luxuries. Discounting in major department stores has become silly. My daughter (a middle class have) bought a new coat in Nordstrom's this month for 70 percent off.
Yet there is a wide split becoming evident between the middle class "haves" and the "used to haves." The colleagues I spoke with yesterday have futures deeply rooted in corporate consumer sponsorship. Their futures are hanging on advertising. The most candid person I spoke with (and the smartest) confided in me that advertisers have gone beyond running fewer and small ads, reaching the point where they are just saying "no."
It was the conclusion of 80 percent of these folks that as far as commercial publishing is concerned, we are on the verge of a depression.
Now carry that into your mad passionate hobbies, like motorcycling. Suzuki is importing no new models into the US for 2010. Harley Davidson is down 85%. There reaches a point where local dealers and even independent shops cannot recover. Many industries in the US rely on discretionary and impulse buying. Those folks are not not going to have a great Christmas.
But Christmas for me is going to be very different this year. I am celebrating the big things in life... Like heat... Clean drinking water... Dinner a few times with great friends... Enough cash to stay in the game another few months... And the opportunity to switch focus and come out of this ahead. There are a lot of people that don't have any of these things.
This blog episode was about shopping.
And I would share this thought with you... Find the small shop,,, Where the crafts are made locally... Find the small bakery... Find the small butcher... Find the micro-brewery... Find the guy who makes toys out of wood in his basement... And buy your Christmas gifts there. Put your gift dollars in the pockets of Americans trying to make a living.
And fuck everybody else.
Listen to the sappy Christmas music. Make egg nog, Throw snowballs colored by Christmas lights. Open the last can of Who hash... Buy a meal for someone who doesn't have one. Or share yours. And remember how all this started... By the birth of one child, who never traveled far from home... Who never wrote anything about himself... Who never had two nickels to rub together... Who just thought people should be nice to each other... And who everybody in authority sought to kill so they could eliminate his influence on the general public... That worked out well.
Remember what brought us all together? Motorcycles and scooters. Hang a Christmas ball on your bike,
Fondest regards and Merry Christmas
Jack Riepe
I'm still trying to get over the dog Snuggies at the Walgreen's on NE 33rd. It seems to be a Walgreen's exclusive; you won't find them at Fred Meyer.
Portland souvenirs tend to have either roses or Mt. Hood (which is actually 60 miles to the east) or roses superimposed on Mt. Hood. Portland is the "City of Roses," after all. Portland lacks an iconic structure in the manner of Seattle's Space Needle, but numerous proposals to address that have been shot down in flames, possibly because building something like that might not Keep Portland Weird.
Luckily, Portland has a treasure trove of mom & pop retail, so you can Buy Local with very little effort. Fred Meyer used to be local. The Rite-Aid stores used to be PayLess Drugstores, which were also local, until a series of mergers and leveraged buyouts.
I consider myself very fortunate to have extricated myself from the Xmas insanity during an earlier bout of unemployment many years ago. It's been decades since Santa has stopped at my house, and he likely never will again. Which is fine with me.
No snow in Portland, but there is fog. And it is cold. And the days will start getting longer very, very soon.
To all, Happy Holidays. And may your 2010, uh, not suck...
__Orin
Scootin' Old Skool
Mr Conchscooter & Jackie "r": et al
have a very Merry Christmas, even without cold and snow. I am sure that Jack has enough to share, you can sift the sand out.
I'm not sure about the economic recovery or whether things are getting better, or whether it is just because of the season, or the Olympics. We will know soon enough after March when things get back to normal. I can only gauge things by the numerous ads in the papers. Lots of ads aren't good. Having boxing day (same as Black Friday) specials 3 weeks before Christmas also isn't good. It also isn't good when stores will price match any lower pricing without much discussion.
I feel sorry for those younger persons trying to get a start in life, with high housing prices and few jobs. I have noticed an abundance of parking spaces still available at Walmart, Best Buy and other places where the salespeople outnumber the customers. This was the same in the Seattle area where we were last Sunday. Lots of window shopping going on with few packages in hand.
One of the indicators of economic activity is how busy the restaurants are, and they are not. Every where you go salespeople are being over polite and helpful, which is against the norm. Right now I'm not getting a very good feeling about the future.
bob
bobskoot: wet coast scootin
One of the main reasons we are going to the Keys during Christmas is to escape the commercial holiday and just celebrate the winter solstace for real. Its a new thing for my family. So, few "presents" but just family together snorkeling and spending time enjoying the ocean.
Sal Paradise
I love y blog. This is the most sentimental time of year and we still manage to keep it real. Cool.
The weather is starting to be perfect Sal, temperatures are edging up slowly and the sun is appearing more and more.
Post a Comment