I wanted a café con leche and i wanted to take some pictures so I combined the two and took a seat outside Jeanna's Courthouse Deli and watched the show across Whitehead Street at the southernmost bar.
The Green Parrot is a block from the end of Highway One so that at least makes it pretty far south and Jenna's was sold so is now known only as Courthouse Deli, but the benches are still there on the sidewalk and it's the shady side of the street, so for a man on his way to work on St Patrick's day it was a good spot to wield a camera.
The Green Parrot has a reputation so it attracts tourists, and their scooters. In the background here you can see the Honda and Kawasaki dealer on Southard Street. I used to have a Honda scooter and would never waste my time there again. You'd get your Social Security check waiting on Victor for parts. I wish he would retire and let someone dynamic take over the concession:
"Ooh," my neighbor on the bench squeaked. "They're riding in striped pajamas!" She speculated they must be working somewhere, and I retorted "One of three jobs probably." Which the good tourist found more amusing than I meant my remark to sound.
Most motorcycles in Key West are V twins and men like to stand around and talk their usual nonsense around them.
A cyclist stopped at a traffic signal. Will wonders never cease!
Some people prefer not to drive themselves. 
White legs and a rental cycle, the white rental plate on the basket gives that away. A visitor I'm guessing. 
I've never quite understood the Harley fairing that is all fiberglass and heavy on the handlebars but doesn't have a windshield for rider protection. I guess it makes a good place to park a radio. 
You know he just wants one. There it is, the release from responsibility. 
And this flash of thigh upholding the Triumph motorcycling tradition, heaven help us. 
"Oh my Gosh," my bench neighbor from Wisconsin bellowed, "he's wearing a kilt!" She sounded like the Sheriff in the movie Fargo. When I remarked on the similarity she smiled and said they are from the same neck of the woods and everyone talks that way. I don't I wanted to say but the point would have been lost. After a short discussion with her husband about whether or not they wanted to get shit faced on Duval Street she got up and they pottered off up Southard Street. 
This looks a bit like an MZ motard. When East German MZ still existed it had quite a following in Key West, home to many Eastern European transplants who remembered MZ as the best motorcycle manufacturer behind the Iron Curtain, in the bad old days. 
And here, tucked modestly almost out of sight we see the bad V twin of them all, Yamaha's Virago still offered in 250 and 535cc versions. A nice classic motorcycle for those that can appreciate a long lived small package. 
Not forgetting that other classic in green (not the babe), my new Bonneville:
36,500 miles and not one failure to startand go, so far. A classic motorcycle for the busy daily rider. Unless of course you need to fit in with the crowd and ride a V twin. With tachometer. ====================================================================
"Taxes Aren't Theft" is the title of today's essay at my wordy blog found here:
http://conchscooterscommonsense.blogspot.com/
27 comments:
One of my brothers bought two MZ Six Day Trials bikes in California in the late 60s. Those were the only two MZ's I had ever seen.
What I remember of them was that they weren't terribly fast, but they were very easy to work on.
The Green Parrot with the Parrot uniform - jean shorts, t-shirt, and thinning pony tail (all of which I sported until recently).
As for v-twin, I know most are associated with Harley Davidson, theirs is the 45 degree configuration, right? Most cruisers use v-twin type engine.
Speaking of Harley, is there any stock to the recent take over rumor? I thought they were employee owned.
Nice of you to not dissuade your new tourist friend of the accuracy of her keen powers of observation. On closer inspection of the import scoot with "pajama" clad riders I think they are fortunate to be riding ... that rear tire needs air as well as a tread replacement.
Nice series, Conch. Your NJ fan should be pleased with the number of pounds of iron you've shown off in this post -:)
Being from Florida and living in Orlando, I particularly like the guy walking the bike. He screams, "I'M A TOURIST. PLEASE ASK ME TO GO PARASAILING."
...and if these tourists went elsewhere tired of snarky comments.. we'd do what for a living?
Let me address anonymous: the tourists will find you at the bar, ready willing and able to talk their ears off about how smart and clever and off beat you are while they buy you drinks. Me? I stop on the street to point the way on their maps, I send police officers to find their lost cars, I try to drop useful tidbits of advice at TripAdvisor and I let off steam on my blog after one more 30 mile per hour commute.
I make fun of myself, riepe and the fucked up world I live in here. You want to join the fun get an identity, asense of the absurd and do the same. If you are too thin skinned take my tachometer and stuff it up your ass.
Have a nice day and walk three more blocks to the Hemingway House.
For everyomne else today was supposed to be some relief from endless pictures of my fucking dog my manly pink sandals (no self mockery there) and if anyone decides not to visit Key West based on my sick sense of humor let me say you will be depriving yourself of a fun time. The chances of you meeting me on the streets being grumpy are remote.
Tourists will never escape from snarky commenters, nor will snarky commenters.
...but the chances of meeting a grumpy Conchscooter on a public blog? 100%. Well played. Not.
Someone posts a "let's be nice to a tourist" comment and Conchscooter tells them to what? Ouch.
I thought you said you didn't have a tach on that Triumph?
The tach apparently has been sacrificed for a higher purpose.
I AM nice to the tourists. I give real directions, I help them find their way back to their hotels in four languages and I wait patiently while they dither at intersections.
I appreciate the money they bring. I am a tourist myself when I travel.
I walk the streets of Key West with the wonder in my heart that Chris Belland was struggling to find in his column in Sunday's paper.
I don't even know what prompted you to think I don't like tourists. I support the nude beach, cruise ships and I recommend the conch train to learn about the island.
If you come to Key West to experience reverence and awe, go elsewhere. Try the USVI for some real down home tourist hatred if you lack a passport.
Maybe it was the part where you said "take my tachometer and stuff it up your ass" that was misinterpreted when someone simply suggested it inappropriate to mock people based on appearances.
I agree USVI is rude. Maybe they need more open highway.
Conch- you have a stalker
This is a personal blog. Much of what is said has meaning only if one has read it long enough to understand the context of it all. Pulling out quotes to prove a point demonstrates that you're not a regular, long time, reader and merely another one of the Internets verbal arsonists.
If you improve your manners, I'm sure we'll let you stay.
Fair enough. I will try to improve my manners but it makes me crazy to think this is some extension of the Tourism Development Council.
Danette, I had long since identified you as a stalker so thanks for nothing,
I hope suwanee refugee shows up again despite being attacked here. He gets to shoot a wolf if he feels like (not my bourgeois cup of tea but there we are- I didn't say anything disparaging on his blog so I feel doubly bad anonymous starts flailing around here).
Phew I've got shit at work, the right wing up my ass on the lack of common sense place and now tourist businesses here. I need a vacation.
How can I get a stalker? Would save time instead of calling for safe rides after hanging at the parrot.
Dear Mr. Conchscooter:
It would seem I got here in the nick of time.
First of all, I will never again point out to you that motorcycles of character should come with an OEM tachometer. This is because I didn't realize that you had taken yours and shoved it up some weeping willow's ass.
Well done, Conch old friend.
Secondly, I used to live in a tourist town and many of these visitors, who claim to be spending money, are douches. (Particularly those from Montreal.) They may have money, but that doesn't excuse them from being stupid pricks. In many cases, they are RUDE, stupid pricks.
Many of the obvious tourist types that appear in Key West Diary photos sport fat droopy asses, or huge flooby tits, barely covered by tropical wear that only looks good on Victoria's Secret Models. I would be a bit edgy if I were forced to look at that sort of thing all day. In fact, I'd be tempted to walk around with a paint-ball gun targeting the asses of the worst offenders.
Fat people need to be taken in hand, and made to live on reservations. I think an island in south Florida should be set aside as "Lard Ass Key," on which all fatties must wear thongs, cheap jewelry, and industrial grade cologne or after shave. My guess is that they would start shedding pounds quickly, so they could stay on one of the other Keys.
If you are not going to mock people on their appearances, then what else is there? I fully appreciate Mr. Conchscooter's recent departure from the standard, overly cute, "This is my dog and these are my pink fucking ballet slippers" blog format. I like reading about motorcycles, the people who fride them, and great motorcycle destinations.
Know why? Motorcycle riders are not thin-skinned douches. (Well, most of them. Vee-Strom riders walk the line.)
I started reading this blog because Mr. Conchscooter was making his notations from the saddle of a classic-looking Triumph Bonneville, or from a sliver of a scooter. The fact that he is as tactless as his bike is tachless appealed to me too. Brutal honesty is becoming rare these days.
Finally, I like how Mr. CS (there's a title for you, that could easily have a double meaning) opens this forum to everyone. No one has the option of "letting anyone stay," or resorting to name calling.
And please take note, Mr. CS, if you're thinking of becoming more PC to please the anonymous masses, then you will end up Canadian.
I didn't realize that you were making fun of me. What lines in previous blog episodes were meant to be insulting? I thought they all made me look pretty good. I especially like the line in which you said, "Riepe's balls are big enough to get their own table in crowded restaurants."
I look forward to my upcoming visit. Please set aside four days for strip joint analysis and tattoo preparation, plus two hours for Key West cultural review. I'm assuming we'll be riding motorcycles, and not hybrid parade floats, powered by PC bullshit. Can you find me a stuffed alligator head I can mount over my front fender? I would prefer a rare, albino one, with pink eyes.
Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad
Twisted Roads
Dont' forget to Smirk as well Mr. CS as you read the comments.
Wow you can tell its monday. I like the site and I'm the tourist, and I hope when I'm there in July I run into conchscooter and his PINK shoes and his dog! Everyone have a nice evening
drop me aline when you are in town and i will be happy to play tourist. As despised as I may be.
see ya in july!
I was in Key West once in Feb- with legs that matched the snow in Dec. burnt to a miserable crisp while I was there. Here tourists are visible by their top-o-the-line Ski gear that makes them all the more visible when they are tumbling down a hill. You just can't help look awkward when you are a Tourist. And I don't mind that Reipe doesn't want to see me saggy boobs-- I ain't going to wear a bra in KW!
Dear Danette:
I didn't mean yours. I like yours just the way they are. Are you going to be there in October? You could pose on my bike. It has an OEM tach.
Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad
Twisted Roads
Mr. Riepe~
Thanks (I think...?) I'll be there in August- sadly. I like it HOT (and fewer tourists)
Hey riepe- Danette is MY stalker, back off!
Dear CS:
Well, well. The voice of Mr. Smooth. How are your Canadia lessons coming along?
Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad
Twisted Roads
I forgot everything about the MZ motorcycles. I had one about 30 years ago and it introduced me to my first and only front wheel "wobbling" experiences. Damn that was scary...
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