I am not a fan of Hallmark Holidays, those moments of bliss manufactured by advertisers and merchants that are deployed during the calendar year to convince us to waste time and money on sentiments that corporations should have no access to. It was just after Valentine's Day, a holiday guaranteed to make me grumpy as prostituting the historic Bishop of Terni (my home town http://conchscooter.blogspot.com/2008/02/love-and-tolerance.html ) in the name of selling flowers and chocolates is a corporate invasion of privacy bound to piss off a sensitive soul like me such that I took my dappled dog Cheyenne hunting the smells lurking in the bushes at Little Hamaca City Park.
She prowled the trail, nose down, darting back and forth and paying absolutely no attention to me. At times she was barely visible in the undergrowth.
These are the walks that I rate a success. The ones when she stands staring at me are the boring ones and then I feel guilty.
Little Hamaca is the cluster of woods between the airport and the Riviera Canal in that part of the city of key West known as New Town. It is a hammock of trees and bushes growing on a chunk of raised ground that isn't ever supposed to flood. It has a rather poor reputation as a hang out for drunks and bums and shy men seeking the solace of the love that dare not speak it's name, mostly I'm told men who pretend to be straight and are thus unable to come out in the numerous and entirely acceptable gay locations around town. In my not terribly frequent forays into Little Hamaca I have never been accosted or molested but I seem to have a facility for blithely ignoring that which freaks out other, more sensitive people. You have been warned.
Evidence of drinking was everywhere and it's not like there aren't plenty of trash cans in the park.
It was a lovely scenic sunny day with a light fresh winter breeze continuing to make the outdoors perfect. As we were next door to the airport there were planes in the sky.
The plane was towing a message. You know what they say about marriage, in Italy where I grew up: a year of flames, a year of embers and thirty years of ashes. Don't do it Lori!
Cheyenne and I are like an old married couple when we go strolling along together. She started to break out onto Airport Boulevard separating herself from me...
I watched the sky a bit more, waiting for Lori to float her reply: "Bugger off!" but perhaps she, like me, had no idea who had paid for the banner...
Anyone who comes to Key West Diary looking for cloying sentiment and valentine platitudes is in the wrong place. Where was I? Oh yes, beautiful skies...
It was just a glorious afternoon with not an icicle or snow shower in sight.
Down in the shrubbery the colors were magnificent also.
Cheyenne and I were scampering along and enjoying ourselves as only we know how. You'd think the bushes would be packed with people scampering their dogs, but not a bit of it. I expect they were all standing around in the dog park avoiding making eye contact.
I also found one solitary boot complete with a sock inside.
I have no idea what happened to the other one. Perhaps this one got left behind when they dragged the body away. Idle speculation is all I can offer so now we should consider instead the natural beauty of prickly pears, nature's equivalent to conchscooter, prickly on the outside and ... something else on the inside one hopes...
I have spent far too much time being nice to strangers lately. I think it's time to revert to form and contemplate the wonders of nature without human backup, much as Saint Francis of Assisi did in his hermitage near my former home in Umbria.
Except he didn't have a fat happy Labrador to console him, as the breed was only recognized in England in 1820. They arrived as boat dogs on vessels from Canada, Newfoundland actually before it was part of the Dominion and the English thought they were splendid. Which they are.
All this and a cheerful wife at home ready to make up for the lack of human company encountered in the bushes at Little Hamaca. Which was probably just as well if they do indeed have acts of gross indecency on their minds.
I did meet some people on my way out on Government Road.
I didn't speak with them but my gesture of goodwill was not to run them over as I swept by. Valentino, Bishop of Terni (Interamna as it was known to the Romans of the day) would have been proud.
9 comments:
uial Dear Conchscooter:
Do you think you will ever do theme blogs titled:
a) Famous Sludge Holes My Dog Is Forced To Drink From
b) Jungle Pockets Known For Sexual Forrays
c) Famous Key West Bums
e) Seven Popular Abandoned Vehicles in Key West
f) Best Places To Get A Sandwich And A Drink For $38
g) Fat Tourist Asses In The Worst Colored Bermuda Shorts
I think theme blogs such as I have described fit nicely in your Fellini-like sense of photography and general local topic text.
By the way, if you are interested in advanced usage of colloquial expressions, the phrase "Jersey City love python" was used to good effect in Twisted Roads today.
Fondest regards and kiss my ass,
Jack • reep • Toad
I prefer manufacture clying sentiment for profit.
Bad day is it Up North?
I like the phrase, 'Meat Puppet Park'; sums the place up quite nicely.
From the gayest street on the island,
Chuck.
Dear Conch:
It's a great day as far as I'm concerned. The temperature is 54ยบ and it is pouring like hell. The pounding rain is dissolving the snow that is still hereabouts and I couldn't be happier.
Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad
Twisted Roads
You can eat the young prickly pear pads,as well as the fruit (although I doubt I would want the stuff from that park - it might have special dressing already).
They also make booze out of the fruit.
Dear Mr. Conchscooter:
You write beautifully. And your pictures are so soothing, especially to one in my circumstances, which means being abandoned in this "assiated living" hellhole, by two ungratfeul children. In this dump, the "assisted" part means some bitch helps you to the bathroom after you've already crapped in your pants. I crapped in my pants three times today just to get a change of scenery.
If you like these parks so much, how come you never bring a trash bag to pick up all the beer cans and other detritus others leave behind? You could be the one setting the example. And I know what you mean about "forbidden love." I wheeled myself into the linen closet by mistake yesterday and caught Debbie Goldberg on those shakey knees of her's with Manual's (the attendent on the third floor) tool tickling her tonsils.
"For this you're late for Mahjong?" I asked.
If yor dog loves these walks, why does she look like a hostage in photo #17? And somebody should tell the woman on the bike in the last picture to put her shirt back on.
Nice chatting with you today.
Shirley Steinblatt
Shades Of Death Assisted Living
New Jersey
Dear Sir:
Have you ever thought of walking around on your hands and knees and doing a blog from Cheyenne's perspective? Of course you would have to extend yourself for realism, like sniffing other dog's butts and getting close ups of doggie muffins in the mangroves. ("Doggie Muffins In The Mangroves" would be a great title for a blog.) But there would be advantages too... Like thrusting your face in the crotch of some hottie on a street corner and snuffling around. (Try a blond. They usually don't mind and want to pet you afterwards.)
If you use this idea, could you send me $1400 as a royalty?
Sincerely,
Bernie M.
The Federal Prison System
Dear Key West Occupant:
If that kind of love is forbidden, how come there are no signs that say, "Snorkeling Prohibited?" Well?
Ed Tuttle
Whitehead Street
Dear Jeffrey, a small voice of snaity in an insane world.
Dear Jackie: I am sorry your psych meds aren't working anymore. I really liked your latest on Twisted Roads. I think you really did have sex with that married lady who rented you the cottage. You dog.
Love from your younger brother
CS
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