Monday, December 28, 2015

Christmas With A Biorhythmic Triple Negative

When I was a youngster we used the term "biorythmic triple negative": to express a deeply messed up day, when you seemed to be stuck in an endless repetitive cycle of bad luck, when it felt like the gods were crapping on you from a great height. Let me say from the outset I know biorhythms don't get any scientific respect and I have no interest in numerology  but I have found the term useful to express my frustration on those days or in those times when everything seems stacked against me.

From The Skeptic's Dictionary:

The belief in biorhythms is based more on numerology,testimonials and the Forer effect, mass media hype, and intuition than on scientific study. The belief originated in the nineteenth century with Wilhelm Fliess, a Berlin physician, numerologist and good friend and patient of Sigmund Freud.

Apparently Fliess had an obsession with 23 which he called the male cycle and 28 which naturally he ascribed to women on what was called their lunar cycle. It's what people do when they seek to make sense of an insensible universe. Anyway last week the universe seemed to have it in for me personally and that inclined me to feel the universe was sentient and malevolent and I was the target.
Flamingo Crossing, Key West
Key Lime Sorbet, Flamingo Crossing, one of my favorite things

From the cycle tourist:

Since the period of all three cycles are different (23, 28, and 33 days), the interaction of the three cycles overlaid on top of each other is rather complex.  On the day of birth they are all at their day 1 position (at mid-point and moving upwards.  They are not in this exact configuration again for 21,252 days (23 x 28 x 33) or 58 years and 66-68 days (depending on leap years).  (Who says life begins at 40? Looks like its 58 to me.) This 21,252 day cycle is known as a biorhythmic span.  There are 4,327 days on which one or more of the three phases is critical.  That leaves 16,925 days of mixed rhythm or "normal" days.  When more than one cycle is critical it is referred to as double-critical or triple critical.  These multiple critical days are especially unstable.

The holiday weekend started somewhat unfavorably when my wife went to check the bank account and discovered the credit card company had double dipped a several thousand dollar payment and had charged our business account and  our personal account. My wife went apoplectic on my only night off last week. It was a pleasant romantic evening called to celebrate the completion of the 911buddy app and wish it well on its journey to seek Apple's approval for the iTunes Store. A very long call to US Bank solved half the problem and we were preparing to go to Key West for a movie and dinner at Sister Noodle when our downstairs housemates knocked on the door to report a leak from their ceiling. It turned out our air conditioner was not draining and water was everywhere. I rolled up my sleeves, or would have had I had any, forgot the movie and tackled the air conditioner coils, my favorite occupation of a night off.
The drain was clogged and the coils were flooded and blah blah blah. We had pasta at home and sank a bottle of wine, planning a quick start at the bank to finish off the failed credit card payments and spend Christmas Eve afternoon at home before I went to work. Fat chance. 
Wet vac borrowed from a neighbor to suck out the drain

From "The influence of biorythmic criticality on aircraft mishaps:"

Critical states of the three biorhythmic cycles have different effects on groups of 
people with different characteristics. For pilots, the 
study revealed no significant influence from Biorhythms by 
straightforward application of critical days, as observed 
in previous research. Significant resuits at varying levels 
between a = 0.15 and 0.03 were obtained when considering 
different age groups among pilots. The intellectual cycle 
was found to be irrelevant in connection with aircraft 
mishaps.

That  night we didn't sleep well, blame the alcohol or racing thoughts trying to plan a zero dollar marketing campaign for the damned app we ended up getting up blearily just in time to reach the bank minutes before the second duplicate payment went through. Four checks bounced and my wife was still madder than a wet hen even though we stopped the second payment. I envied the elderly Cheyenne at home snoring on her second nap of the morning as we got back into the car as my wife tried to figure out in her head how to transfer business payments now made on our personal account  from there to the business account. Then she called the credit card company as we drove to Marathon and half way over the Seven Mile bridge the call center supervisor gave up the fight and agreed to refund us the bounced check fees. That lightened her mood somewhat, but the driving patterns were slow and unpredictable and my mood was getting grumpy. The first gas station at $2:10 a gallon of regular was completely jammed so we went to Home Depot to pick up the wine cooler we had ordered. Our first 24-bottle cooler had lasted eleven years and recently stopped maintaining the wine bottles at a cooler temperature but the replacement was here to rescue us and our wine! My wife was excited.

Cheyenne, Shrimp Sound Studio
Cheyenne used to enjoy  her downtown outings, here at Card Sound studio

From procato.com "Biorythm Calculator and Predictor:"

Important ideas tend to spread rapidly in the scientific community. Dr. Hermann Swoboda, Professor of psychology at the University of Vienna, read Fliess' work while still a young man, and by the turn of the century was himself researching, lecturing, and writing on biorhythms. Swoboda, who detected a periodicity in the occurrence of dreams and thinking processes, and in fevers, asthma, heart attacks, and the outbreak of illness, believed his own investigations confirmed Fliess' observations on the 23-day and 28-day cycles. Swoboda contributed to the theory the notion of the "critical" day, when the cycle shifts from high to low or low to high; a day of instability and usually of some stress for most people.

WE were in line to pick up the wine cooler when my wife asked a Home Depot employee about doggie pads, sometimes used to train dogs to pee in one spot (preferably not your bed). A customer in line ahead of us cornered my wife and told her exactly what to get at Publix and how to use them. Great my wife said, that should be helpful. So we picked up the cooler, stripped the outer box off and squeezed the thing in its inner box onto the back seat of the oh-so-capacious Ford Fusion. We also got the correct size filter for the air conditioner and bought just one to make sure it would fit properly in the future. The previous tenant bodged the filter fitting to make it easier to replace and that allowed a lot of dust insider to cover the coils. We were going to Do It Right. Then we went to get gas at another station also at $2:10 and there were no lines there. I filled the tank with less than twenty bucks. Things were looking up.
Key West Bight
Key West Bight, a sunset cruise is on my list of things to do again in 2016

From lobsangrampa.org:

Bio-Rhythms play an important role in everyone's lives, and in spite of this the majority of people don't realise and are missing out on something really remarkable and practical. In the Far East they have been using Bio-Rhythm wheels for centuries. However, Dr. Wilhelm Fliess was one of the first Westerns to observe and record Bio-Rhythms. Knowing how these cycles flow you can plan ahead and avoid really bad days or becoming hyperactive on a really good day. This is not science fiction, it's as real as the air you breath.
Do you remember when you had your last really bad day? when everything seems to go wrong regardless of what you did? This is known as a cautious day, also could be a double or triple caution day, either way you can really forecast such days and plan events around them. You are up to five times more accident prone on such days.
Everything in life goes in cycles, it's even written in the Christian Bible, Ecclesiastes 3. So knowing when is the best time, we can achieve more and avoid the really embarrassing days.

So riding high on the wave of success we stopped at Publix in Marathon for some last minute shopping, us and just about every single year- round and winter resident of that unhappy city. It was like visiting the mainland for Thanksgiving's Black Friday with no parking and crowds of people. I was told later that Key West was even more unhappy with vast crowds and endless lines so what do I know? I felt overwhelmed especially when my wife said perkily "That wasn't so bad was it?" Of course not dear.
Triumph Bonneville
My Bonneville, something else to be grateful for in a world rapidly going

From Scientific American:

A new study finds that around the full moon humans get less shut-eye and their slumber is not as deep, even if sleep is restricted to windowless rooms free of environmental and time-based cues—such as those found in a sleep lab. The findings, published today in Current Biology, suggest that restful sleep takes a hit during a full moon as well as a few days before and after the phase. Still, no one has any idea why that would occur or what biological mechanism could be at work. The authors found that during and for the few days around the full moon—the period in its monthly phase cycle when it is brightest and appears in the sky from sunset to sunrise—it takes about five minutes longer to fall asleep, sleep duration is reduced by 20 minutes and slumber is not as deep.

I unloaded the wine cooler and swept it up the flight of stairs to it's new resting place, preparatory to opening the box. Cheyenne, not wanting to shit upstairs where I have laid out a large dog box to make life easier for her weakening hind legs, had taken a copious dump in the driveway. Which would have been fine had not some vehicle chosen to use my drive as a turn around, crunched the dog eggs methodically and squished them everywhere. I got out an old towel and my bottle of bleach and set to work, picking up and bagging what was possible and wiping clean what wasn't which was most of it. Beleive me. when a car squashes a dog turd it goes everywhere.
It was a full moon Christmas night, in every respect like this, with predictable consequences

 From iconceive.com:

Some six decades ago a young Slovakian doctor named Eugen Jonas made an astonishing discovery — that women have not one but two fertility cycles. In addition to the hormonal cycle (one that the medical scientific community widely accepts) Dr. Jonas found that women have another fertility cycle linked to the cycles of the Moon called the Lunar BioRhythmic Cycle.
The nature of the Lunar BioRhythmic Cycle is very similar to how the moon affects the ocean as seen by the changing tides. The effect the moon has on the female menstrual cycle may also affect a woman’s peak fertile time. It has been observed that many women conceive not during their expected and charted hormonal ovulation period, but rather in line with their lunar peak.
Dr. Jonas established that the time of fertility occurs during the same phase of the moon as the one in which a woman was born. He also found that the gender of the child is determined by the position of the moon during the time of a woman’s fertility. In addition, he found that conception during certain phases led to pregnancy complications, owing to less than ideal gravitational forces coming into play.
Wearily I washed my hands and then went to deal with my wife's Christmas present to herself, the wretched wine cooler. I got the box open and wouldn't you know it, inside the the perfectly formed box the cooler looked like it had been attacked by a madman with a hammer. The corner was crushed, the door was broken off its hinges, it looked like some daft bugger dropped it in the warehouse in Shanghai and said bugger it to himself before sticking it in the box and sending it on it's merry way. I don't blame him really. We have too many luxuries as it is, but my wife, like the cooler, was crushed.
Cheyenne, Key West
A younger more active version of my beloved

From Wikipedia:

According to the theory of biorhythms, a person's life is influenced by rhythmic biological cycles that affect his or her ability in various domains, such as mental, physical and emotional activity. These cycles begin at birth and oscillate in a steady (sine wave) fashion throughout life, and by modeling them mathematically, it is suggested that a person's level of ability in each of these domains can be predicted from day to day. The theory is built on the idea that the biofeedbackchemical and hormonal secretion functions within the body could show a sinusoidal behavior over time.

The last I saw of her she was on the phone to Home Depot starting another round of phone round robin with a major corporation trying to figure out how to get the cooler returned and replaced. I slunk off to work.
Sunset is always a pleasure in the Keys 

From biorythmcalendar.com:

Transition days are the day when a biorhythm cycle changes polarity. At mid point and end point in each biorhythm cycle, the cycle sharply moves back to zero point and changes polarity. That is called a transition day (or caution, or critical day). As the cycles constantly change polarity, we experience life’s ups and downs.

A double transition day is when 2 of your cycles change polarity on the same day. This day may be difficult, especially if both cycles are changing polarity in tandem (going in the same direction)..

A triple transition day is when 3 of your cycles change polarity on the same day. Triple transition days are rare, occurring once every 7-8 years.

The toughest days are multiple transition days closely following each other.

As  you can imagine the night at work was filled with calories and drunks, cakes and disturbances as people succumbed to their worst instincts. But of course most people don't, most people aren't on the line to 911, most people really do have a Merry Christmas.
Conchscooter
Some of us just have to get through our own biorythmic triple critical days and try not to go all negative.

4 comments:

tho52mas1 said...

that was the KW version of Sebation Younger's Perfect Storm. Only funny as hell.

CJ said...

Understand I'm sitting here, having coffee, laughing for you, not at you. Oh my...

George Collins said...

Oh my, my...words fail....I hope things are looking up by now!

Happy New Year!!

Trobairitz said...

Wow, what a day. Good thing you stayed so perky and upbeat throughout. :-)