They are gathered in Copenhagen, our leaders, and every time I read those words (I have no television reception) I think of the round tins filled with that nasty black goo some men like to chew, in the same way their counterparts in the Third World chew narcotic leaves to fend off the pain of reality. I dare say First World leaders at the Climate Change Conference in the Danish capital could do worse than chew tobacco from a tin, or chew coca leaves from a bush, as they ponder how to save us from ourselves. Or how to shoe horn us out of our Humvee addictions and into modest unmanly sedans like the little car on the left: 
I find it hard to believe that any useful thing will come from the chewing tobacco gathering in Denmark, where delegates are pondering whether to hold climate warming to 2C or 1.5C; I'm rather surprised they haven't passed a motion ordering the tides to comply. Already Third World delegates have walked out in protest, saying First World countries are refusing to give them enough money to offset carbon, those would the be the countries producing the most paying the countries producing the least in case you thought you misheard. I wonder what the Third World leaders are chewing to give them the illusion that they are going to make out like bandits from this conference? Coca leaves? 
The conference was billed as a way to get everyone on board with Anthropogenic (Human Caused) Global Warming, known for short as AGW, and to figure out ways to reduce carbon output by humans. What the conference is turning into instead, is a grand hand out by the First World to the Third. Which seems counter intuitive to me based simply on the Third World's record of not spending the money where it's supposed to go (Swiss banks are not supposed to benefit from charity donations to banana republic dictators). And if we in the world's most industrialized nation can't wean ourselves off our oil and carbon addictions, how can we expect a country filled with poverty to cut back whatever modest output of carbons they may be responsible for? How many African villagers does it take to produce as much CO2 as this Hummer traveling say, from Key West to Miami?
It beats me, but this Hummer, an overly obvious symbol of First World excess is not alone traveling on the Overseas Highway as you can see. And most of those other vehicles are single occupant rides too, producing their own carbon releases into the atmosphere. Yet back in Copenhagen... 
...they are busy shooting each other down, blaming each other and reaching no useful consensus. Just like drug addicts in crack houses anywhere in the world. It's always somebody else's fault.
The thing is these are World Leaders I am talking about, the 21st century Moses leading us out of the wilderness of Sinai to a new promised land, a place of carbon neutrality, of modest consumptions, of local consumerism, of useful industrialization. To be an AGW skeptic is to be a heretic, is to be someone who refuses to face reality and by so doing puts the planet at risk. It's hard though not to be skeptical when one observes the actual behavior of our leaders, who preach change and give us business as usual, who can't curb their own excesses but expect their neighbors too do so. If they know the actual threat posed by Anthropogenic Global Warming and they cannot do anything meaningful about it, what are we the people supposed to do? Quit driving? Take cold showers to conserve propane? Turn off the air conditioning? What? Perhaps we should chew qat leaves:
But there again despite the requirement that we disconnect belief from reality we are prohibited from consuming narcotics unless a major corporation somewhere makes an obscene profit off them. Reach for the beer and the Valium not the unprofitable leaves. 
AGW may very well be a clear and present danger to all of us but you wouldn't know it from the antics of our leaders. Peak Oil is going to double gas prices sooner or later and when it does presumably the cost of producing CO2 will get out of reach for many of us and perhaps then we will be forced to modify our behavior. Until then I guess we all of us in our different ways, remain addicted to our chew of choice, oil, coca, qat, carbon or just the pleasure of wielding meaningless power in a world gone mad.
I find it hard to believe that any useful thing will come from the chewing tobacco gathering in Denmark, where delegates are pondering whether to hold climate warming to 2C or 1.5C; I'm rather surprised they haven't passed a motion ordering the tides to comply. Already Third World delegates have walked out in protest, saying First World countries are refusing to give them enough money to offset carbon, those would the be the countries producing the most paying the countries producing the least in case you thought you misheard. I wonder what the Third World leaders are chewing to give them the illusion that they are going to make out like bandits from this conference? Coca leaves? 
The conference was billed as a way to get everyone on board with Anthropogenic (Human Caused) Global Warming, known for short as AGW, and to figure out ways to reduce carbon output by humans. What the conference is turning into instead, is a grand hand out by the First World to the Third. Which seems counter intuitive to me based simply on the Third World's record of not spending the money where it's supposed to go (Swiss banks are not supposed to benefit from charity donations to banana republic dictators). And if we in the world's most industrialized nation can't wean ourselves off our oil and carbon addictions, how can we expect a country filled with poverty to cut back whatever modest output of carbons they may be responsible for? How many African villagers does it take to produce as much CO2 as this Hummer traveling say, from Key West to Miami?It beats me, but this Hummer, an overly obvious symbol of First World excess is not alone traveling on the Overseas Highway as you can see. And most of those other vehicles are single occupant rides too, producing their own carbon releases into the atmosphere. Yet back in Copenhagen... 
...they are busy shooting each other down, blaming each other and reaching no useful consensus. Just like drug addicts in crack houses anywhere in the world. It's always somebody else's fault.The thing is these are World Leaders I am talking about, the 21st century Moses leading us out of the wilderness of Sinai to a new promised land, a place of carbon neutrality, of modest consumptions, of local consumerism, of useful industrialization. To be an AGW skeptic is to be a heretic, is to be someone who refuses to face reality and by so doing puts the planet at risk. It's hard though not to be skeptical when one observes the actual behavior of our leaders, who preach change and give us business as usual, who can't curb their own excesses but expect their neighbors too do so. If they know the actual threat posed by Anthropogenic Global Warming and they cannot do anything meaningful about it, what are we the people supposed to do? Quit driving? Take cold showers to conserve propane? Turn off the air conditioning? What? Perhaps we should chew qat leaves:
But there again despite the requirement that we disconnect belief from reality we are prohibited from consuming narcotics unless a major corporation somewhere makes an obscene profit off them. Reach for the beer and the Valium not the unprofitable leaves. AGW may very well be a clear and present danger to all of us but you wouldn't know it from the antics of our leaders. Peak Oil is going to double gas prices sooner or later and when it does presumably the cost of producing CO2 will get out of reach for many of us and perhaps then we will be forced to modify our behavior. Until then I guess we all of us in our different ways, remain addicted to our chew of choice, oil, coca, qat, carbon or just the pleasure of wielding meaningless power in a world gone mad. 