Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Local's Parade

People think that because Fantasy Fest permits a certain level of nudity that there are naked people to be seen on the streets of Key West. Well, there are of course but the most common comment you'll hear from people who have actually been to Fantasy Fest is that most of the nudes shouldn't be.I understand there were more than 50 floats in the Big Parade on Saturday night. That's the event that wraps up a week of "balls" and assorted gatherings around town. Couples run for the title of King and Queen of Fantasy Fest and whoever raises the most money for Aids Help gets to keep the title for the rest of the year. All that is the official face of this event; the private face takes place on Friday evening, and like every private moment in public, that started out as a "local's" event the Local's Parade has become a very popular "Masquerade March" for locals and visitors of course.At 5pm people gather spontaneously at the Frances Street gate at the cemetery, line up behind the band on the truck and start walking. Half the parade goes down Fleming and the other part goes down Southard. My wife and I like to hang on Fleming Street, with the motorbike parked nearby and see what we can see. It's usually a good idea to find a comfortable wall to sit on, and plan to wait a while for the walkers to get to your spot. If you are in a hurry prepare to be disappointed.
The setting sun gives a very pleasant glow to the street around this time of evening this time of year. Of course, sitting on a wall waiting for the parade isn't all that it's cracked up to be. We had a party of people from Up North who had obviously drink taken and decided to tank up a little more with a brown bag from Fausto's. That was their opportunity to smear some Bud Light on my shirt and drop a can into the flower bed behind us. When I bent down to pick it up the woman looked at me squiffily, tried to say thanks and left the slimy can sitting on the wall after she wandered off somewhere. They made me glad I live out of reach of the main tourist zone. The parade shambled up eventually, after a few outliers appeared wandering down the street. And so the fun began, and I have to say that of course the local's parade has changed and everything today is worse in Key West than it was years ago, yada yada yada, but I like the local's parade and I enjoy the costumes even if I don't get all the cultural references. This one I got:Nudity is not a big part of the local's parade, it's a community gathering after a fashion, with people wearing fashions of their own making and I had a lot of fun grabbing snapshots of what I could, where I could as they drifted by. If you wants tits and ass this isn't really the space. riepe only wants tits and ass so he should go to the official Fantasy Fest pages I guess.
BP was another reference I managed to grasp.
I loved the contrast between the Sheriff's sergeant's hard core look and the beads. Fantasy Fest is one of those events where all police leave is canceled and dozens of county sheriff's deputies and state police come into town to help out. Most of the obnoxious drunks start plaguing the streets after the parade is over.
And some people might actually need help. Here's another political statement fresh and relevant to today's election...
I am not fond of hats but I do like the look of a top hat. Somehow they manage to invest almost any wearer with an air of gravity at least or possibly depravity under certain circumstances. The drummer on the truck just looked busy.
This headdress stood out from the crowd and the setting sun illuminated his young face and I failed completely to recognize Matt which caused him some hilarity.
Noel was stumbling alongside offering me some pink concoction that he said tasted "delishouse" and yes, it was a lot stronger than he had at first thought. "Ooh," Noel moaned, "look at him." His powers of observation were not apparently dulled by the pure alcohol he was injecting into his system. They obliged for Noel and myself. I guess he's hot but it's hard for me to tell.Robert and Dolly appeared out of the crowd, to my astonishment. I would not have expected Robert to disguise himself, rather effectively with gorilla tape, but there he was, groaning at the slow pace of the forced march. "Never again," he moaned, reinforcing my pleasure at remaining a spectator.
I have no idea what these people represent.Or her.
My wife wondered if Rich's buddies in New Jersey, where he spends his summers, knew what manner of fun he was having in Key West...There was fun to spare.
How regular people dream this stuff up is beyond me.
The ebb and flow of the local's parade is what gives it it's charm. Essentially it is a walk through town, in a crowd, wearing whatever oddness comes to hand. Some participants plan their costumes far in advance and appear in outrageous finery. Others not so much, but there are no awards here, no prizes, just the pleasure of a stroll and a chance to meet some friends.
My ability to check out the local's parade or the Saturday night event is predicated entirely on when I will be working. However if I can only get to the Saturday night event I am as inclined to skip it as not some years. Lately the floats that are produced locally with local themes seem to be overwhelmed by out of town groups that come down from the mainland with their cheesy plastic pirate ships and stuff and fully dressed crews who take up space in the parade for no particular purpose that I can see. This parade has retained more of it's down home flavor than you might think.
This next one was a response to the man known with more or less affection as "the sign guy" who chooses to stand on street corners around town with notices that say cheerfully "God Hates Fags" or better yet "God Hates USA" and all sorts of opprobrium falls on his head from time to time. Better to mock the stupid asshole like this than giving him the periodic beatings he so richly deserves:
They say the legalized marijuana imitative is going down to defeat in California.
I couldn't grab these headdresses before they waltzed by...
...but these two stood in the street for a few moments looking for all the world like conspirators. A simple hat makes a surprisingly effective disguise.
Perhaps we should have parked the car on the street to make a better viewing platform.
"Need to be vaccinated?" he leered most engagingly, waving around a huge syringe."Hey!" my wife grumbled as this huge lesbian construction worker jostled her.It turns out it was Scott, taking a break from programming movies at the Tropic. He makes a frighteningly female woman and enjoyed sneaking up on my wife.I think these were the real thing.
Above we have bondage divers (apparently) while below we have bed bugs seeking refreshment from the physician and his ice chest.This lot were rather disturbing in a nightmare sort of way.
Willie Wonka meets Quentin Tarantino.
This lot were pursuing some cultural expression that escaped me, French matelot stripy t-shirts and heavy Sartre type intellectual glasses. Beats me. Hmm.
Imagine walking, or tottering a dozen blocks in those things. Start 'em early.
And finally a grotesque block party at Simonton Street.
He did not seem the least bit impressed.
We had a good time and our getaway vehicle was right there, ready and waiting for us.
A fine way to spend an afternoon.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Sugarloaf Stroll

Going out of town for a week makes you realize how much you miss your dog. It is good to get back into a routine and Cheyenne is happy to be out and about in the slightly cooler weather that October usually brings. Sugarloaf Key has home ownership opportunities too.Rate of Growth Ordinance (ROGO) restrictions are a big deal when buying land in the Keys. The state has oversight over the islands, rating them an area of special concern which means developers are frequently pissed off, property owners yell about property rights and buying a plot of land can means years of waiting in line before one can build. The restrictions came about to try to prevent over development in the Keys, a concept that is hard to believe in, sometimes, driving the Overseas Highway. Plots of delightful open space still exist. This could be yours.I am not a huge fan of dirt streets, not as a place to live, though I like walking my dog on these funky back roads.
The great thing about these large lots is you have more room than you might otherwise expect to find in these small islands. Horses anyone?
Wow! A whole ten percent? Wait a year and some prognosticators suggest land prices may have fallen by half across the US.
As usual I haven't a clue what it's called.
These really are lovely homes even if they have no boating access to salt water.
I'm told date palms won't fruit properly in the Keys because they need an extended period of drought and heat and around here it rains too much. Not that I would know.
Tropical greenery creates vast amounts of tropical yard waste.How this coconut got here, among the mangroves I'm not sure. This is not a canal. It's a street. I love these wide open spaces on these small islands.
I'll bet this said "No Trespassing" a long time ago. I assumed that's what it meant and turned away.
Nice scum, eh? Even Cheyenne avoided it.
This is not a chicken.
This is my dog.
She never gets enough time walking.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Halloween Curse

I have never been particularly attracted to my birthday, perhaps as a result of being at boarding school on the fatal day during my formative years. Perhaps because i have only the vaguest sense of the passage of time. Yet here I am, 53 and still stuck with the attachment of Halloween to the date of my birth.There is a perverse element in my nature, inasmuch as everybody else seems to enjoy celebrating the holiday of All Saints Eve, but for me this mixture of harvest festival and children's kindergarten hour with adults regressing all around me and encouraging me to disguise myself for the day. Last year we were told we could wear "tasteful" Halloween outfits at work. I showed up in a Hawaiian shirt, shorts and Crocs claiming I was disguised as an "off duty police dispatcher." I work in an office where our modest uniform of polo shirt with a police badge and dress pants and dress shoes is viewed as an unmitigated burden, and my (lack of) creativity was viewed with some envy by colleagues who are always looking for a way out of wearing the uniform. I tell people it took me 35 years to find myself so don't expect me to take the time to disguise what I found at this late date.When I was a child Halloween was not a holiday at all in Italy and was limited to children in England. Apparently it is a holiday based on a Celtic celebration of summer's end or some such, Samhain (pro: sow-an) required masks to be worn to frighten off credulous spirits. The term Halloween, or more properly Hallowe'en came into use in the 16th century referring to the day before All Saints Day which falls on November First. "Hallow" means sainted, and "eve" refers to the day before. The orange and black colors refer to the darkness of winter and the glow of fireplaces.Originally Celts carved pumpkins as candle holders to ward off those credulous evil spirits, though gradually America, land of the giant marrow created the tradition of carving pumpkins. For some reason I can't quite figure Halloween is always associated with night creatures and general spiritual unpleasantness.
Key west is a town filled with people who will put on a disguise at the merest excuse and of course my birthday is the day when a lot of this nonsense culminates, especially as Fantasy fest generally falls on or around this fatal day. For Cheyenne the crowds are bothersome and she is attracted to the smells of garbage which make her awkward to walk. She attracts too much attention too, which makes photography a chore in a crowd. She got a bowl of ice cold water from Lobo's Grill and she liked that just fine, the orange and brown colors notwithstanding.When we lived -briefly- in Fort Myers my wife and I were astonished by the hot headed hatred towards the holiday by some of the churches in the area. They railed against Halloween as though it was some sort of satanic holiday designed to lead children off the rails of morality and godliness. I find that attitude absurd, in the same way that equating Harry Potter novels to satanism is the height of foolishness. I am simply indifferent to my birthday's particular meaning. And in the United States, where adults love their Halloween I hate admitting to the fact that I was born at ten minutes to midnight on the Greenwich meridian (near enough) and that all makes me a marked man. "Ooh, you were born on Halloween?" they say archly.And I am one who is not given to supernatural speculation so inevitably the fact that I was born on Halloween leads to disappointment as I have no horns sticking out of my head, no superpowers and I lack the playfulness, after a half century of being labeled, to enjoy the joke. It's a pity really someone with a better attitude didn't get the burden of being born on this day in my place. They might have done better with it.As it is, my birthday comes and goes and I feel the weight of the years a little at a time. Like most people I don't feel anything more than eighteen on the inside, however I seem to have been pretty lucky in my collection of genes as I continue to enjoy robust good health. My buddy Giovanni the cardiologist tells me in the 6th decade the weight of the years will press down much harder so we should have our fun while we can. He smokes, I exercise in an effort to age as well as I can. Pain sucks.I wonder what will happen when we die. Giovanni says he has heard from many heart patients who have "seen the light" in near death situations, a phenomenon more widely spoken of than previously. Whether it is a last burst of electrical energy or a pathway to another world who knows. I spend little time speculating on the unknowable. Meanwhile I look forward to a cake next week promised by Chuck and even though I am working this weekend, the fact that it is my birthday is a matter of some indifference. My wife kindly goes along with my eccentricity, but she was born January 15th so what does she know about Hallowe'en?As curses go, being born on October 31st isn't so terribly bad, it's just awkward like having a blemish on your identity that needs to be explained every time someone comes in contact with it. One day, perhaps when I grow just a little older and wiser, I will learn to deal with my birth day more gracefully. For now I shall resign myself to being grumpy about it.