Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Sailing The Mason Dixon Line

I grant you there is something romantic about taking a break from driving by riding a boat and yet despite being stationary still making progress toward your destination. There is however nothing romantic about being jangled awake at four in the morning by your alarm clock which is reminding you the ferry is three and a half hours away and you have to confirm your arrival by 8:15 for the sailing a half hour later. Cheyenne was puzzled to be out walking in the darkness but did her best and filled a plastic bag for me.
She took her place in the Ford, on the princess bench in the back, while we loaded the trunk. To my astonishment we left on time at 4:32 am and found ourselves on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel which looks like a misspelling but is in fact an endless chain of bridges and tunnels, one after the other, Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel Homepage.
Of course at that hour of the morning, by now close to five they were busy making repairs before the commute clogged stuff up so we got clogged instead. Which started my wife fretting about the time. We had promised Phillip and Van the joy of our company in Boston Monday night for dinner and that appointment overshadowed the rest of the day.
The sunrise was extraordinary, the usual pink and orange hues in the sky, but the ground was still in darkness so the the contours of the land, and the huge mysteriously dark trees gave the approach of day a mysterious quality that I don't get in the Keys where everything is so flat and the trees are so small that nothing is hidden.
And the ground fog, that was something.
The temperature was in the mid sixties and the night had produced a veil of white mist so insubstantial it vanished as we approached at sixty miles an hour but from a distance it looked as solid as a brick wall.
All too soon the night became day, cars peeled out of driveways and we were in traffic again. Apparently Delaware is a no helmet law state which makes it rare among the rigid societies of the Northeast. He was riding and I wasn't. Grr.
The thing about lining up for ferries when you have a dog, and I've done this a few times now, is that you have to take your dog for a walk as you wait and she has to take a last minute shit under the unwavering gaze of hundreds of otherwise bored passengers. I was hoping that her early morning walk back at the hotel might have done the trick, but from her ample recesses she managed to locate one more giant effort. So there I was like an unwilling participant in some minor modern one act play stooping and scraping with my confounded plastic bag wishing a fight might break out or some other distraction might attract the audience's rapt attention.
All this for 47 bucks.
On board as Cheyenne and I maneuvered to the stairs I noticed a rather clever trick, obvious when you think about it for hauling bicycles.
Labradors and other minor dogs are only allowed on the outside deck which must be a trial in January but in summer it was delightful.
Cheyenne liked the steel decking and sat close to watch the world go by from the safety of my aura. Good dog.
We wandered around a bit though she was not impressed by the amount of water outside the boat and proceeded to ignore it for the rest of the 90 minute trip. A very pleasant couple with a small dog sat next to us and engaged in canine conversation (curses, I thought at first, Cheyenne you will pay for this intrusion!) but they turned out to be very cheerful Floridians living in Pittsburg to deal with family matters. Cheyenne was forgiven and we passed a pleasant thirty minutes.
I guess the Cape May - Lewes Ferry is quite a public service and cultural institution. Who knew?
Then I went hunting for the loo and unhappily things took a rather dark turn. I couldn't find any sign of a toilet anywhere and was ready to take a discreet leak in One of several life jacket lockers, which in my defense looked remarkably like porta potties, but I was saved at the last minute when I stumbled across the blessed room. Hmm, I said to myself, I'm surprised they don't have urinals, perhaps to allow for rough crossings in winter weather but I've never seen that on any boat. I took a stall and amused myself by photographing the sign. On my boat I used to tell guests that you could only put something in the bowl after you'd eaten it which produced some grimaces on the guests' appalled faces until the penny dropped.
After the inside of the stall lost its charm I went to wash my hands as one does, rinse, hum-de-dum, soap, old macdonald had a farm, hum-de-dum, rinse, hum-de-dum, paper...ooh, silly woman what are you doing in here? I thought and she did too as she made a rapid u-turn and left looking embarrassed as well she might. Second paper towel, hum-de-dum, whereupon a second woman appeared. This time, ominously, from a stall. Bugger I said, faced with the two to one evidence against me, maybe I got it wrong. She started laughing and agreed. I'm from Key West I said, I'm actually transitioning, and the beard's the next to go. If the other woman who looked like she was having a heart attack ever reads this I can only offer heartfelt apologies. The mistake was all mine, but I didn't wet the seat, I promise.
I went outside and tried to blend in among the other bearded sex change candidates.
To compensate for the stress my wife went and got the world's largest pretzel from the cafeteria. It tasted like bread dough with large grains of salt but everyone else seemed to like theirs and even Cheyenne pronounced it passable.
After all that we retreated to the car, but first we had to disentangle Cheyenne from the staircase where she discovered a discarded pretzel in a completely inaccessible spot between the steps. Bloody dog, she never misses a scrap and that sudden halt nearly launched me into orbit on the vertical staircase. The Garden State Parkway attended us as our next stop was Tom's River where Riepe awaited us for lunch.
I am not in the habit of giving advice but let me say this, signposting is sketchy in New Jersey, speed limits are mere suggestions and everyone ignores them completely, and if you don't arrive with a supply of quarters for exact change you end up in interminable lines for the change booth (EzyPass is not compatible with the Sunpass -barbarians!). But the drive through New Jersey was a whole other adventure. That we had arrived was sufficient for the moment.


Monday, June 30, 2014

Fire Adapted Dog and Illicit Lumber

When on the road with wife and dog I am tempted to envy those among us who get to ride motorcycles. At the same time 1800ccs of raw power, a cup of cola and a backwards baseball cap aren't quite my style... In Fort Myers where I photographed him he was run-of-the-mill.

We decided that if this trip was going to be memorable we were going to friend-hop so Ft Myers we saw Jeffrey and Jessica again over Indian food. Great. But ending day two saw us still in Florida. Unheard of! We usually cover huge miles to get out of Flatistan. Not this time. Our next friend is Jack Riepe of Twisted Roads fame, for lunch Monday in New Jersey and that rendezvous was going to require some serious I-95 mile mashing. Poor Cheyenne finds riding the back seat, even turned into a broad couch, to be rather tedious as she can't see out very easily. However she is patient and is rewarded with walks all day long. Some of the Interstate rest areas outside Florida are quite wild...

We got to Florence, South Carolina arounf 2:45pm which was lucky as the Long Grain Café closes at three on Sundays and we slid into our booth in time to order lunch.

Layne found this place her usual way, hunting through her restaurant apps while I drove. There were cops everywhere on the freeway and they were pulling people over like high school monitors in the hallway. Still people galloped and I tucked in behind the big pick up trucks in my low profile Fusion sedan. So far I haven't got pulled over. Nice.

The Long Grain Cafe got tons of positive reviews for its southern food though the place looked intriguingly like a converted Chinese restaurant.

My wife hot grilled chicken, full of flavor and not even slightly dry accompanied by some peculiar but delicious broccoli pancakes which were delicious mixing two delicious yet apparently incompatible flavors. The mac and cheese baked in a dish was okay but nothing like a maccheroni dish I would expect to be served.

My grilled pork chop was delicious, thin and covered in a savory gravy. Of course I got long grain rice, collard greens and the oddest small red beans packed with flavor. A great dish.

Our lunch including the endless iced tea, sweetened of course, normally a forbidden sugar drink for us, yet delicious was $18. Outside we saw a woman packing her SUV with food. I think she was the chef because I didn't notice a to go purchase during lunch. I wanted to congratulate her for lunch but I was shy.

We drive through parts of Florence that were landscaped, filled with trees and shady avenues...and we left by a different route, thanks to the phone GPS that sent us through a more well worn neighborhood. I was racing to get to the restaurant before it closed so I got no pictures but I did get photos on the way out.

Some Main Street or other! Buggered if I know what. My wife was checking the signs as we aimed for the freeway and as we passed a billboard she said out loud with a deep note of puzzlement "Fire...Adapted...Dog...?" No silly, as we passed the second such:

FireAdapted.Org some sort of wildfire prevention program. Then we passed a construction yard, "Illicit Lumber? " she queried. I think she was in some sort of collard coma as there was nothing actually illicit about Elliott Lumber. Florence was getting a bad rap from my comatose wife. We left.

On the way to the freeway entrance we saw a hub cap store. Talk about enterprising!

Soon enough we passed the South of the Border nonsense just south of the north Carolina stateline, and as seemed to be happening too much so far on this trip we had to press on, no stopping. I will, one day visit South Of The Border ~ America’s Favorite Highway Oasis and enjoy the kitsch.

Our goal was La Quinta in Norfolk, Virginia and we had hours of tedious driving, eighty miles per hour in stretches varying between 65 and 70 mph. There were no cops on this stretch but I stuck to hiding behind the speed demons in the SUVs watching like a hawk when the way ahead was clear. In the Spring when I got stopped for 70 in a 55 in the Outer Banks I got plenty of ear ache from my wife. Not this time. I've been pulled over in Panama, Croatia, Grand Cayman and Bosnia on various vacations so Herself has come to expect it. Not this time I insist.

Of course when we arrived at the hotel we were stuck behind people who never heard of booking in advance and the sole clerk had to cope with their particulars and foibles before doing our instant check in.

And so to bed. What a tedious way to travel! Making miles....Tuesday will be much better, destination Boston.

 

Sunday, June 29, 2014

From The Archives: Nicaragua 2009

I was mulling over a bunch of photographs my wife took on her vacation in Nicaragua and I thought she took some street scenes that might be of interest. Nicaragua is a rated as the second poorest nation in the western hemisphere, wedged between Haiti at the bottom of the list and Honduras one step above Nicaragua. So street scenes here have a flavor that tends to be quite different from suburbia USA. Not all people have actual wheels to get around so they end up walking. When my wife and I were sailing down Nicaragua's Pacific Coast a decade ago we walked a ton too, though not usually with a load on our heads:The US influence is obvious on the streets, the yellow lane paint, the green road signs and the fact gas is sold by the galon, not the liter. A new sight on the roads that caught my wife's eye were these Bajaj three wheeler taxis, based on the Italian Ape of years past:The more traditional cab is a multi-purpose pick up truck hauling people and stuff, and they don't spare the weight as economy is critical when you live in the second poorest nation in the hemisphere:Nicaragua is fixed in the average American mind, if there is any consciousness about the place at all, as the place where the Sandinista revolution took over the government 20 years ago and President Reagan instituted a Counter Revolutionary War to win back the country for capitalism.Those days are long past and Nicaragua has been at peace long enough it's difficult for an outsider to see any signs of that civil war. Nowadays it's a matter of working long enough and hard enough to make ends meet. The Danish government built some pretty decent roads across the country more than a decade ago and they are still there. The trick was the Danes sent their own engineers to Nicaragua to see that the money was spent on the actual project so the main roads are really quite excellent:Earning a living is tough when there isn't work and Nicaraguans have to be adaptable and tough to try to figure out how to earn some cordobas, (20 to the dollar, roughly). Imagine earning minimum wage standing out in the sun all day doing cleaning windshields rather than take charity:I find the anti-immigrant rants in the US to be extraordinarily uninformed. Granted these people who seek to make some money in the US don't have papers, but they don't come to the US for charity either. These are people that work:One aspect of Nicaragua that always intrigued me was the legacy of Sandinismo, the leftist ideology that left behind a series of social reforms that make Nicaragua one of the more progressive peasant societies in Central America. It's modest stuff, regulated hours and conditions on the job with some protections against arbitrary firing, but it's revolutionary in this part of the world.
The World Bank has figured out that Nicaragua has the 14th most "free "economy of 29 in the Americas and is almost 70% "free" which I suppose means capitalist. And there they are out there beavering away as best they can:
It would be hard to imagine threading one's way through this sort of rush hour traffic on a motorcycle if you were used to the orderly flow of North American streets:And even though it looks romantic, a horse and buggy isn't the most efficient way to travel, unless of course you can't afford the cost of gas:In Key West pedi-cabs are a tourist attraction, in the provincial capital of Rivas they are actual taxis:And where would be without a picture of the local fuzz? If stimulus money doesn't stimulate I wonder how long it will be before Key West officers are "protecting and serving paradise" with less than pristine cars? It seems we are all a recession away from being on the ropes, so one can only imagine what local government budgets look like down there:And there's another Bajaj doing sterling work hauling people and their chattels:
A one horsepower cab:
A one horsepower pick up:
One feature of street life in Nicaragua (and other Latin American countries) are these gruesome noise pollution devices. They trundle around town advertising in loud horribly distorted voices, or alternatively they can be hired to announce political races or new city ordinances and the like.
And yes these countries do have helmet laws, though brain surgery here would be a bargain compared to getting the noggin reassembled stateside. And before you sneer at the level of private medical care in these countries remember the doctors here trained in the US and Europe and nursing care is amazingly affordable. Rely on Key West Diary to waggle your stereotypes.I've driven in all these countries at one time or another and I've found traffic to be no worse than anyplace else. It's a matter mostly of getting in the flow and remembering the basic right-of-way rule in all developing countries: whoever has the biggest wheels gets to go first. And whatever you do, don't get in a wreck because then your worst stereotypes will all come true!

7 comments:

Singing to Jeffrey's Tune said...
Consider my stereotype's waggled. Great post.
Allen Madding said...
The last two pictures include scooters - the first has two up riders. one would think the cheaper 50cc scooters would thrive in this society.

I am warmed that they embrace the pedicab. Some where in Nicaragua is your compatriot who is contemplating launching a blog, recommending sites to see, places to stay, places to eat, and providing pedal-cab tours of the countryside. I wish him great entrepreneurial success.

-Peace
Jack Riepe said...
Dear Sir:

I am confused. Looking at the map. I cannot find Nicaragua Key. While I see many things that remind me of Key West in these pictures (i.e. battered and aged scooters ripe for Sargeant Pepper-type paiting and neighborhoods and lifestock in the streets), everyone does seem to emp[loyed in doing something useful. Is this another kind of bizarro Key West festival?

Also, yesterday's blog seemed to contain a note from your wife, who is under the impression you are "funny." Can you chect to see if she meant "humorous" or "peculiar." (I'm running a pool with several other posters and I'd like to collect soon.)

And congratulations on your new tour operation. Will it include the nude beach? (Bob Skoot was too shy to ask.)

Fondst regards,
Jack "reep" Toad
Twisted Roads
Anonymous said...
Riepe: $20 on "peculiar".

D
blameitonbuffett said...
...Jack's post just reminded me...

It seems that the A.S.S./F.I.S.T. collaboration wasn't as smooth as we had all hoped, though we're working towards the same end (namely the nude beach and "boobs and bugs"--copyright Jeffrey).

We expect that investors will help to lubricate the process, however, we may be forced to focus our attention elsewhere.

We have an attache communicating as we speak with the Nicaraguan Institute for Protected Serendipity (N.I.P.S.). We hope to clamp them down to an answer by the end of the month.. As always, I'll keep you all posted....
bobskoot said...
Mr Conchscooter:

I would just love to have a Bajaj, or an Ape, or a Tuk Tuk but they don't allow them here. Our Government has something against 3 wheeled vehicles. Now that Chrysler has been bought by Fiat, perhaps there will be a Topolino or Fiat 500 in my future

Nice story and very interesting pictures. Thank you to Mrs Conchscooter

bob
bobskoot: wet coast scootin
Conchscooter said...
My wife is losing her, mind: she thinks you lot are funny. We're on a road trip and I think the stress of being trapped for days in a car with me is causing her to lose her mind. Someone explain to riepe where Nicaragua is, else he too will go mad. Writing on an iPhone is exhausting.