Monday, May 30, 2011

Minimal Regatta 2011

The Coasties were on hand, always ready to help out any boaters in this absurd race who might have bitten off more than they could chew.However they also had their own dog in this hunt, a spectacularly powerful and determined paddler flying the Semper Paratus flag to victory in the first heat.His boat was properly built and properly equipped with an anchor on the bow, ready to be deployed! The Minimal Regatta is in it's 20th year as a Veterans fund raiser on Memorial Day weekend. the rules are pretty simple: build you own boat from the same identical inadequate supplies, plywood, two by fours, duct tape and some screws... This was boat racing taken seriously. There are huge crowds traditionally at this event, ostensibly to watch people show up in silly costumes with silly boats and proceed to sink them. In reality it's an excuse to hang out and talk and drink.Schooner Wharf Bar hosts the fun event http://www.schoonerwharf.com/11minimal.htm and supervises the entries. Results are reported in the paper, as all top flight sporting events should be. But the Minimal Regatta is a place to see and be seen.The crowds are thick and the heat is oppressive for some, in others it just brings out their peaches and cream complexion. For Cheyenne it was oppressive and she ducked between legs to find a shady spot away from the action.
Like so many charity fundraisers in Key West this one is a chance to find a really silly costume and pose for the camera. I had left my hard hat at home and was thus obliged to keep my distance.
Cheyenne did her bit for the camera attracting some healthy interest.

I found an available corner at the Shrimp Sound building overlooking the melee. The dock in front of Schooner Wharf was like hot sticky pudding, filled with sweaty bodies rubbing off each other and the air was like custard and just as hard to breathe.
There were actually plenty of free seats with decent views of the boating if you looked for them because the commentary of Evalena Worthington and the DJ Hoebee was broadcast far and wide across the waters...The pleasure of the racing and the sinkings will be paid for later by some incautious souls. And whenever I wonder why people discriminate against big dogs I see a pooch in a crate on the back of a scooter or in someone's arms...And don't let's forget the pirates keeping an eye on things.I just stood there in the sun pondering the slow start watching people rushing hither and yon on Lazy Way Lane looking for the best spot to watch or perhaps to meet a friend or perhaps, as I was thinking of, to go home.There was a lady passing through the crowd selling poppies for Memorial Day, a reminder of the purpose of the event.And the first boats got going to much acclaim.One sank, one didn't......and it was time to go home and get some rest before the all too imminent start of a holiday night shift for me.

Memorial Day Signs

The old Buy One Get One (Free) was a concept whose time came at a fortuitous moment in my Key West life when the idea of a sandwich for $8 followed by a second sandwich for no more money seemed like a lifesaver. Or a pasta dish with a second dish included for $13 made choosing dinner simple. Abundance worked at a time when time was short and money only a little longer. Memorial Day meant income for tourist related business and it's employees (or contract workers as the scam had it). Now the Truman Avenue hole in the wall is called Wingmasters but still and yet the ugly change of management sign refers back to the halcyon abundance of BOGO. The generosity of Buy One Get One is burned in my memory as the super abundance of a time before the sky rocketing of world food prices.
Cheyenne and I slunk past the sign on Olivia Street. "She's mine" I wanted to announce to any passer by who was not even listening, "I have her vaccination papers in my wallet." I hope Farley is happy wherever he is. I know whoever owned him isn't.Memorial Day and one's thoughts turn to hot dogs and summer fun when actually we should be thinking about some other more grounded stuff. It has always struck me as odd, coming from a world where Armistice Day was celebrated in the cold and leafless dreariness of a fast approaching winter, to mark death with the advent of summer. I have had my own unworthy thought: It's big paycheck time tonight as I'm working on an official holiday, and frankly I've earned it considering how much trouble the drunken celebration of summer has had me paying attention night after night in police dispatch this holiday weekend. And finally on the subject of death and resurrection a light note from Ace Summerland Hardware, the best ironmongers in the Lower Keys at Mile Marker 25:What possesses them to make passers by laugh I'm not sure but they are a cheerful helpful lot inside. I have a sneaking suspicion they will be open today to lend a helping hand. Some of us have to work.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Key West Wheels

The heffalump shown below was I hope expressing a nice touch of irony on it's tag which described it as a Key West buggy. The fact that it bulged beyond the containment lines of it's parking space was enough I thought to show the ironic intent of the label.


I find it surprising that operations as simple as dog hauling or grocery shopping or school busing these days require huge cars in the minds of many. I have always found this massive lumps uninteresting to drive and I expect I am not alone as so often their operators can be found behind the wheel doing anything but driving. The relaxed way of life that allows transportation to be reduced to a magnificent pair of suspenders and bulging saddlebags has to to be not only admired but envied. The gent in the picture below reminds me why my Bonneville commutes are an indulgence.I probably put many more miles on the Triumph motorbike than does the impeccably turned out heffalump above, and the House of Saud thanks me. But here below is the true Key West Buggy, and I don't mean the exhausted Cheyenne. The old moggie (Morris Minor) was built between 1948 and 1971 as one of those post World War Two means to get Europeans mobile, much as the Fiat 500 did in Italy. A Morris Minor was in fact the first car I ever drove at a friend's farm round a rather bumpy field when I was young enough that seeing over the steering wheel and reaching the clutch pedal simultaneously was a bit of a problem. I envied him enormously a father who would buy my friend an old banger to romp around the farm in.This curiously eccentric old car with steering on the wrong side and still respectable fuel mileage today really does represent in my mind the perfect Key West Buggy. Scooters are always respectable even if renters frequently fail to use them correctly. Like this lot at Garrison Bight Marina Friday.


Faced with a selection of streets in their immediate future they clustered together to talk options in the middle of the street. I was waiting on Palm for the left turn light at North Roosevelt and I watched cars stop and wait as they decided their course of action without having the wit to pull off into the ample parking lot behind them. Oh wait! It says Do Not Enter! Silly me.

Minimal Regatta Schooner Wharf Bar

It's the Memorial Weekend in Key West like it is everywhere in the US but in Key West men wear bras to mark the holiday.The good news is women wear their underwear in public too, so I felt obliged to take some pictures for posterity.
My proclivities as a dirty old man come in for much scorn from readers who think staring at young women who wouldn't look twice at them in real life is a macho thing to do, so I offer this taste of what's to come with all due humility for the undoubted shortcomings. These absurd pork pie hats are appearing everywhere on top of young touristas, so I am forced to think they look more suitable on Madison Avenue and in Beverly Hills than they do at Schooner Wharf Bar.Speaking of Beverly Hills I rather enjoyed the babes of Big Pine Bay Watch. The silliness of getting grown men and women to take to the water in home built craft composed of inadequate materials like duct tape and plywood is to raise money for Veterans on this Memorial Day.
I bought my poppy, symbolic of the blood red poppies of Flanders Fields that saw so much loss of human life in 1914-1918.The actual boats themselves were of less interest to me and in any event despite the rumored presence of CNN the race took an age to start. I'm working tonight so I couldn't even drink beer to assuage the boredom. I went home and took a nap instead.

Virginia Street

I thought this sign looked like a great idea. I have my own personal nerds on Sugarloaf Key to help me with my computing issues but the idea of help a short scooter ride away looks very appealing.I checked the website and it seems to be some sort of franchise operation that can work with people or businesses. http://personalnerd.com/ A brilliant idea especially for people like me who pine for typewriters and rotary phones... It's all about useful services is Virginia Street including the mini storage building. It never ceases to amaze me how businesses and people in Key west adapt their plans to the lack of square footage on the island. On mainland USA a storage business typically is huge, here it's a secure building which would look especially good when hurricane season is upon us (June 1st is the officially start day for that).Failing solid storage one could use a shrine I suppose for hurricane season. This rather attractive one was empty and unloved when we walked by, Cheyenne and I. I couldn't help but notice the yellow bike and yellow flowers in some sort of psychic connection. So I took a picture.
One has to wonder from time to time what a passer by would think if they noticed a man being pulled by a dog photographing at random whatever falls to hand.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Silver Palms Inn

This place used to be El Rancho, an elderly survivor in a town filled with hotels and guest houses but time wasn't kind to the old place and it had become a flea pit. There is no other name for it. Now it is a rather smart and cleverly designed new building on Truman Avenue and packed for the holiday weekend.
I happened by and wandered in to have a quick look and it was impressive as seen from the outside- things have changed quite a bit:
http://conchscooter.blogspot.com/2009/10/el-rancho-good-night.html
I suppose in some people's world a scooter is as compact as a car can get... But this building is self contained as far as parking goes and that's impressive in a town where street parking is always at a premium and a cause for disputes over who parks where.The offspring of the El Rancho owner built this hotel to a 21st century vision. I remember them announcing they were going to build it as a green hotel, lowering energy use and the hotel's carbon impact and create hypo allergenic rooms. They got their Green Lodging Label.From the exterior it looks nicely done, filling the footprint, spiriting guest's cars off the street and surrounding the building with landscaping that makes it look entirely unobtrusive.
At a time when major construction projects in the city are causing a ruckus this brand new hotel appeared without a peep and looks like it has been there forever, on the main road into town, in the heart of much regulated Old Town. They planned well.
http://silverpalmsinn.com/