The boys picked me up at my house so we could take all three dogs to No Name Key for a sunny afternoon walk. Chuck patiently followed this elderly Vespa at 35mph on the Overseas Highway.
I have seen the Vespa parked at Big Pine and spoken to the owner who uses it regularly, though this was the first time I'd followed him. I admired his devil-may-care ability to enjoy the ride at ten miles an hour under the speed limit. When I tried to ride a ghastly slow Stella 150 I was always pulling onto the shoulder to let traffic go by. We got to No Name in the end and met the local inhabitants:
And we took a very pleasant walk which quite tired out the Vizlas, Zuzu and Tootie.
Cheyenne sprawled in the back behind Wayne and chewed on her host's rawhide. She likes to make the point that she feels like she is the alpha dog around here.
It was a glorious sunny day,a fine time to be out and about and i was grateful to Wayne and Chuck for dragging me out into it. This is the bridge connecting No Name to Bog Pine over Bogie Channel.
Soon enough we were back home watching other hardier souls take to the water on a windy day.
My vegetable patch got the third degree from Wayne and Chuck. We introduced them to Earthboxes and now they are experts and wanted to see what kind of cock-ups we'd made. 
My big issue once again is iguana attacks on my vegetables and those dinosaurs are starting to piss me off big time. They climb everything, chew everything down to a nub and they run at the merest hint of trouble. I've tried stalking them and I've managed to shoot two with my air gun but one is only allowed to shoot on one's own property and I desperately afraid of shooting across the canal, which fear crimps my style. besides I'd rather they just stayed away and minded their own business elsewhere. The problem is they have no natural predators and they lay eggs as copiously as ants.
This is my third attempt this winter and so far, touch wood the plants seem to be growing unmolested. Wayne and Chuck haven't yet exposed their boxes to the iguanas that cross their lawn but when the brutes discover their plants they too will be at risk. At the moment the boys are being rather smug...
Better living through chemistry is my philosophy and I have been trying anti iguana sprays for my plants. The best we have used is called Iguana Rid but it is horribly expensive, 20 dollars a quart so we tried a new local formula. It's said to discourage iguana from crossing anything it covers but it never worked for us. That was two crops of plants that got et. #$%@&! Lisa told me about a home made concoction she has used to great effect.
The formula is simple enough, a dose of garlic powder, Neem oil and off you go. In consultation with my wife we decided to add cayenne pepper to the mixture to give the bastards something else to think about. My wife is fussy about the proportions (which I can't precisely remember) but we let the pepper and garlic sit in the water for a while to infuse it properly. I pour a generous dollop of Neem oil into the sprayer and then using paper towels to filter the mixture I pour it through a funnel. This whole bottle of Neem oil which should be good for half a dozen bottles of spray costs just eight dollars at Home Depot.
It smells ghastly, like decayed dog piss but at these prices i can spray stuff to my heart's content.And so far my plants remain uneaten...
The broccoli and pepper are flourishing...
...and the lettuce is a favorite meal of the wretched iguanas.
I'm hoping there's shade enough so that the lettuce won't get bitter.
I wanted to re-use a dangling Topsy Turvy but unfortunately the plastic had become rather thin and weak. I had a tomato plant I needed to find a home for, so I wrapped the container in a plastic soil bag, added some gorilla tape and called it done. Ugly but functional. The boys were polite enough not to comment on it's appearance.
However Chuck couldn't help but gloat. After they got home I received an e-mail titled simply "We have a tomato!" And so they do as evidenced by the attached photo:
I will too, one day...
...if only I can keep the damned iguana away.
Irony of ironies, Chuck asked if he could please borrow my container to spray his plants down "just in case." That made me feel better.
I have seen the Vespa parked at Big Pine and spoken to the owner who uses it regularly, though this was the first time I'd followed him. I admired his devil-may-care ability to enjoy the ride at ten miles an hour under the speed limit. When I tried to ride a ghastly slow Stella 150 I was always pulling onto the shoulder to let traffic go by. We got to No Name in the end and met the local inhabitants:And we took a very pleasant walk which quite tired out the Vizlas, Zuzu and Tootie.Cheyenne sprawled in the back behind Wayne and chewed on her host's rawhide. She likes to make the point that she feels like she is the alpha dog around here. It was a glorious sunny day,a fine time to be out and about and i was grateful to Wayne and Chuck for dragging me out into it. This is the bridge connecting No Name to Bog Pine over Bogie Channel.Soon enough we were back home watching other hardier souls take to the water on a windy day.My vegetable patch got the third degree from Wayne and Chuck. We introduced them to Earthboxes and now they are experts and wanted to see what kind of cock-ups we'd made. My big issue once again is iguana attacks on my vegetables and those dinosaurs are starting to piss me off big time. They climb everything, chew everything down to a nub and they run at the merest hint of trouble. I've tried stalking them and I've managed to shoot two with my air gun but one is only allowed to shoot on one's own property and I desperately afraid of shooting across the canal, which fear crimps my style. besides I'd rather they just stayed away and minded their own business elsewhere. The problem is they have no natural predators and they lay eggs as copiously as ants.This is my third attempt this winter and so far, touch wood the plants seem to be growing unmolested. Wayne and Chuck haven't yet exposed their boxes to the iguanas that cross their lawn but when the brutes discover their plants they too will be at risk. At the moment the boys are being rather smug...Better living through chemistry is my philosophy and I have been trying anti iguana sprays for my plants. The best we have used is called Iguana Rid but it is horribly expensive, 20 dollars a quart so we tried a new local formula. It's said to discourage iguana from crossing anything it covers but it never worked for us. That was two crops of plants that got et. #$%@&! Lisa told me about a home made concoction she has used to great effect.The formula is simple enough, a dose of garlic powder, Neem oil and off you go. In consultation with my wife we decided to add cayenne pepper to the mixture to give the bastards something else to think about. My wife is fussy about the proportions (which I can't precisely remember) but we let the pepper and garlic sit in the water for a while to infuse it properly. I pour a generous dollop of Neem oil into the sprayer and then using paper towels to filter the mixture I pour it through a funnel. This whole bottle of Neem oil which should be good for half a dozen bottles of spray costs just eight dollars at Home Depot.It smells ghastly, like decayed dog piss but at these prices i can spray stuff to my heart's content.And so far my plants remain uneaten...The broccoli and pepper are flourishing......and the lettuce is a favorite meal of the wretched iguanas.I'm hoping there's shade enough so that the lettuce won't get bitter.I wanted to re-use a dangling Topsy Turvy but unfortunately the plastic had become rather thin and weak. I had a tomato plant I needed to find a home for, so I wrapped the container in a plastic soil bag, added some gorilla tape and called it done. Ugly but functional. The boys were polite enough not to comment on it's appearance.However Chuck couldn't help but gloat. After they got home I received an e-mail titled simply "We have a tomato!" And so they do as evidenced by the attached photo:I will too, one day...
...if only I can keep the damned iguana away.Irony of ironies, Chuck asked if he could please borrow my container to spray his plants down "just in case." That made me feel better. 
16 comments:
Dear Mr. Conchscooter:
I read with intererst yesterday that a native populaion of iguana was reduced to nothing on narrow Guano Island, in the South Pacific, by giant squid, which picked the lizards off the beach like they were olives in a martini.
Now the average giant squid is about 50 feet long with a temper like a hand grenade. They eat 150 iguana per day, but wuill supplement this diet with children, stockbrokers, bankers, and the homeless.
I ordered you 20 giant squid online. Just drop them in the canal when they arrive. But do it quickly as they are apt to be pissed by one thing or another in transit. When the iguana run thin, write shitty notes to politicians and to folks at Wells Fargo. Invite them over to kiss your ass.
When they arrive, insist you will only speak to them if they stand within 50 feet of the canal.
This should work out nicely for you.
I will now turn this blog over to 20 people who will gush over the dog pictures. (GMAFB) There is a free prize to anyone who can guess the secret meaning of these 5 letters.
Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad
Twisted Roads
So the guy on the Vespa was, uh, scootin' old-skool.
Sorry, I couldn't resist. But in Washington you are required by law to pull over if five or more vehicles are backed up behind you. Does Florida not have a similar law?
__Orin
Scootin' Old Skool
Dear Orin:
In Pennsylvania, you are required to pull over and curse the Amish buggy or the old person at the head of the line if you are the fifth vehicle.
Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad
Around here the traffic back up is the Amish buggy or the guy that drives his tractor on the road headed into town.He gets away with it because he keeps a small plow on the back. Nice doggy pics(there Jack)lol. Dont know what the GMAFB means, besides I'd be afraid of the prize.And the spray concoction doesn't effect the taste of the veggies does it?
Apparently plants make Neem 0il in their own defensive array against bugs. It smells horrible but leaves no flavor. I think.
Give Me A Fucking Break. Riepe wants pictures of women of which he seems to have an inadequate supply of his own, Despite the e-mails he sends me which indicate otherwise.He prefers them to pictures of dogs. Go figure.
Even dare with the veiled threats, mein offizier, and you will grievously find, like an unexpected seventh in the barrel of wild type (one half as kind) unknown, an All Points Bulletin swiftly dispatched to paradise.
It seems that your quandary is entirely your own, and so like an observer on the set stage of geriatric humor, one vows, in age, to live pure, for what precisely is the point of responsibility if it can never quite stomach the stench of its own power ?
Looks like the garden is doing well and good luck with the anti-iguana spray! I tried the topsy-turvy tomato plant container this year but it wasn't great. It seemed that the plant was in a state of shock for some time before it realized it could still grow. It finally went gang busters at the end of the summer but too late to get enough tomatoes to make it worthwhile. Our growing season for tomatoes is too short here for those maybe??? although the ground is very cold in spring and you can plant those earlier?? I find container gardening very nice-- a lot less weeding than I used to do but a lot more watering here in this arid climate!
Oh,
And this note being, of course, a courtesy of the Militant Wing of the World Wildlife Defense Fund and all those who love our clever green friends;
"It seems that your quandary is entirely your own, and so like an observer on the set stage of geriatric humor, one vows, in age, to live pure, for what precisely is the point of responsibility if it can never quite stomach the stench of its own power ?"
???????
Right. Jolly good. Moving on....
Usually riepe makes more sense than that. Perhaps he's been at the whisky early in the day.
Mike, what is Neem OIl? ie IN the commercial sense. Never heard of it before.
Those Iguanas are like squirrels here, pests. Get yourself a squirrel cage, and using peanut butter as bait lure the critters into the cage one at a time.
Place loaded cage nose down in large barrel of water. Cover and allow to sit for ten or fifteen minutes. Remove cage with deceased iguana, removed deceased and place dead iguana out for trash pickup. Repeat as often as required. Works well for squirrels, skunks and similar nasty critters. Ditto small dogs, cats and small minded politicians.
Bryce: you will love this. One frustrated homeowner was prosecuted for dropping iguanas trapped in his cage to the bottom of his canal ( it takes them thirty minutes to drown). Once trapped an iguana is yours- you may not molest it or release it as it is an invasive exotic. (Use lettuce to lure them into your cage if you don't beleive me and want to try it anyway).
You may kill them humanely- hence the air gun which is considered humane. In Monroe County firerams may not be discharged anywhere not authorized (ie a gun range) and air guns may only be discharged on your own property.
Go figure how to get rid of iguanas now!
Dear Sir:
Don't hang that crap from the lizard protection Mod Squad on me. I can't help but notice the real nut cases seem to be on a first-name basis with you.
I think you got a threat from the Shakespearian division of the "Sex With Lizards Society." And I like the neat reference linking you with the Nazis.
It is interesting that the species is classified as an "invasive exotic." I guess this means it is a pest that should never have been introduced into the Key West environment in the first place.
Fondest regards,
Your Pal
Is that a frangipani with your pepper plant and broccoli?
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