Sunday, May 8, 2016

Being From Florida

You Know You're A Floridian...

As you may have noticed I don't do many posts that involve cutting and pasting on Key West Diary, but this list crossed my path recently and it always makes me laugh. I last posted it in 2011. It is, as the cliche has it, an oldie but goodie:You Know You’re a Floridian if…
You never use an umbrella because you know the rain
will be over in five minutes

A good parking place has nothing to do with distance
from the store, but everything to do with shade.

Your winter coat is made of denim

You can tell the difference between fire ant bites
and mosquito bites

Some of your friends are over 65

Anything under 70 degrees is chilly.

You pass on the right and honk at the elderly.

You’ve driven through Yeehaw Junction.

You could swim before you could read

You have to drive north to get to The South

You know that no other grocery store can compare to
Publix.


You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn’t
worth waking up for.

You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane
list. They aren’t Hurricane Charley, Hurricane
Frances…but Charley , Frances , Ivan and Jeanne.

You know what a snowbird is and when they will leave.
You know why flamingos are pink.

You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty
average.

You were twelve before you ever saw snow or you still
haven’t.

“Down South” means Key West (or Cuba)

“Panhandling” means going to Pensacola

Flip-flops are everyday wear.

Shoes are for business meetings and church.

No, wait, flip flops are good for church too, unless
it’s Easter or Christmas.


An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.

.You roll your eyes when a game show’s
“Grand Prize” is a cruise to Florida .

You measure distance in minutes.

You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one
sweatshirt.

All the local festivals are named after a fish.

A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.


You know the four seasons really are: Almost summer,
Summer, Not summer but really hot, and Christmas.

It’s not soda, cola, or pop. It’s coke, regardless of
brand or flavor, “What kinda coke you want?”

Anything under 95 is just warm.

You’ve hosted a hurricane party.

You understand the futility of exterminating
cockroaches.

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee and
Withlacoochee and Micanopy .


You understand why it’s better to have a friend with a
boat, than have a boat yourself.

Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include:
various fish, NRA, Nascar, Go Gators, and a
confederate flag.


You were 5 before you realized they made houses
without pools.

You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn’t
swim.

You get angry when people say ” Florida isn’t really
part of the SOUTH”

You’ve worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.

You know what the “stingray shuffle” is, and why it’s
important!You recognize Dade County as "Northern Cuba"

2 comments:

Trobairitz said...

Thanks for share Michael. It was a good chuckle.

tammie said...

You know a squashed palmetto bug smells like cinnamon