Placencia And The Coast

We visited the coastal town of Placencia on our cruise up the Western Caribbean twenty three years ago and we were curious to see if the town was what we remembered. Silly us, of course it wasn’t! 

They’ve built Cape Coral in Central America in the intervening quarter century. Placencia is the epicenter of foreign residency in mainland Belize, no surprise then the sleepy beach town we saw in 2000 has transformed itself into coastal Florida in 2023. 

We visited Placencia on Good Friday and the town was crowded on the first day of the four day weekend. That the holiday coincides with US Spring Break just increased the crowded feeling so we made a drive through and didn’t stop. 

There wasn’t much to stop for as businesses not serving tourists were all closed. Bars and restaurants were packed as you might imagine and progress was slow down the one street town. 

Placencia is set on a sandy peninsula  ripe for close inspection if not destruction by hurricanes in the Western Caribbean. The lagoon inside the peninsula gave the original Mayan residents the opportunity to pan for salt here. Then with the arrival of Europeans the Puritans of all people settled on the beach. The wars of independence in the early 19th century frightened them away from “Pointe Placentia” pleasant point, and eventually when Britain established control Scottish traders settled here. 

When you hear tourists talking about Belize they usually mean the two best know coastal communities, islands to the north called San Pedro and Caye Caulker  (pro: “key corker”) both of which we visited previously by boat. The most touristy area on the mainland is right here. 

Everything is for rent or for sale. 

The main road runs down the middle of the peninsula a block from the sea and there is no obvious beach access if you aren’t a resort guest or property owner. 

Private property signs are everywhere. I missed Florida’s beach access parking lots which exist by state law as everyone has a right to enjoy the beaches. In Belize’s libertarian nightmare there are pitiful public services, low literacy and no beach access guaranteed. Bummer! 

The airstrip forces the road round the end which is a driver’s first view of the water coming into town.

Interestingly enough there is a local’s section of Placencia still intact and functioning as well as can be expected in a tourist economy of expatriates like this one. 

With a sense of humor too, or perhaps nostalgia for Florida. It was closed obviously but I doubt the interior resembles the clean orderly abundance of an actual Publix. 

To drive from our host Tim’s bush camp near Hattieville to Placencia via Belmopan is a three hour jaunt. I keep hoping the Belizean countryside will reveal itself as beautiful and lush and so forth but mostly it’s scrub. The roads are pothole free which is wonderful but the speed bumps are omnipresent. 

We stopped at the only visible functioning roadside food stand in Belmopan for breakfast. It was the usual dour uninspired transaction with a seller who seemed to enjoy his business as little as we have come to expect in this unhappy country. The tacos were cold corn tortillas which had never come close to a grill for a chance to get blackened, they came with a smear of shredded chicken in a delicious spicy curry sauce. Three for fifty cents US, they weren’t expensive but it was obvious they were made with no love at all, and they certainly didn’t come with a smile. Sigh. 

The Hummingbird Highway from Belmopan to Dangriga on the coast is winding hilly road with some lovely views and as we aren’t allowed to drive the direct coastal road by the car rental company, we enjoyed what may be the most scenic road in Belize. We did take the forbidden coastal road home as there was nobody out and about and we figured we’d be fine taking the shortcut. It’s actually a good road but nowhere near as scenic as the Hummingbird Highway. 

There were lots of orchards in the plains between the weird karst hillocks that form the mountains here. 

The road quality is excellent but I find it odd that there is so little agriculture with so much land not being exploited at all. 

The tiny breakfast tacos in Belmopan had held the wolf from the door this far so when we spotted an open food stand we pulled a quick u-turn, much easier in a Toyota 4 Runner than in GANNET2, and lined up to see what was what. 

Once again we were greeted with mournful stares so I started in with my patter going they were having a good morning and how nice of them to be open. Nothing. We’re used to Mexicans being genuinely curious about where we’re from and going to but had we landed in a flying saucer dressed in tin foil we’d have got no reaction. I can’t imagine what conversation is like around the dinner table in these homes. 

“Some aliens landed in the field at lunchtime and ordered Italian sausage in a tortilla” 

“That’s nice. Pass the Marie Sharps hot sauce dear.” 

And it wasn’t bad either but it comes with a sausage in the lovely fluffy Belize tortilla that tastes like naan bread with no condiments or lettuce or tomato or anything. We scarfed them down as we drove. 

China is selling lots of vehicles in Belize, the Wingle pick up trucks and Yutong coaches that are identical to the Canadian Prevost coaches that we are used to seeing on our roads. And it turns out the Futon passenger van bears a startling resemblance to a Mercedes Sprinter! 

We drove into Hopkins the other beach resort in central Belize, but there wasn’t much there to see. Again, no obvious beach access but lots of bars and drinking and hanging around. Not our scene. 

Anyway, I’m recovering nicely from my stress induced head cold. Layne took good care of me while I was coughing and sniffling and I’m getting back on my feet. She is a really wonderful nurse which of course worries me because if she gets sick I am unable to care for her to the same level. She whipped out tonics and vitamins and fed me boosters until I got well.

We have been here eight days with Tim’s family in the bush and he is a sweet Englishman, a contradiction in terms! We are ready to be driving again and we hope against hope we’ll have the correct parts in our hands this Tuesday and have a functioning van shortly thereafter. Keep your fingers crossed for us please.