If Pigs Have Wings

In the course of my 54 years I have frequently heard that stupid phrase "...if pigs had wings," because it's an easy put down of silly ideas. Much of my life has been filled with dreams of the impractical so the smarter, down to earth people around me have felt obliged to stomp on the dreams with that stupid phrase. It turns out some pigs do have wings.


That's the secret of life, don't let the buggers stomp on your winged pigs.


Key West for a lot of people is a winged pig, the place where a disco ball can become a garden ornament.


Key West is the refuge where people come to dream that life can be exactly as they want it. On a bad day you can walk Lower Duval street and figure most people's dream is the ability to drink alcohol continuously without consequences.


Key West is the place where we lose our inhibitions, where our little private pigs practice flapping their newly sprouted little wings.


It isn't always the best thing to bring those little pigs to life. They start to flap their wings and then they demand attention and you either pay them their due and move to Key West or climb Mount Everest and then your detractors have their chance to tell you that despite indicators to the contrary pigs do not actually have wings.


Bonnie Albury's house on Southard Streethas a couple of enormous flappers on it and the little men hovering around the dilapidated mansion, paying it homage with their power tools and buckets of blood are helping the new owners to get their pig off the ground.


Bloody stupid isn't it? It's a declining housing market, or at least stagnant in Key West, and in a world of diminishing energy resources who wants a giant mansion in the hurricane belt that cost an arm and a leg to refurbish in time to be demolished by Mother Nature's annual summer fart? See, it's easy to tear down people's dreams, so easy perhaps you should try something different instead.


Perhaps flapping a few pigs wings isn't such a bad idea.you,ll be dead soon enough.


I don't trust the preacher when she insists we get to flap our wings when we're dead. what if this is all the time we've got?



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Parrotdise

If you eat at Parrotdise there is a good chance you will meet Keb, an unassuming cheerful man with a mane of gray hair and a permanent smile. He and his son Ryan created Big Pecker wines and sell them through his cheerful restaurant on Little Torch Key, Mile Marker 28.


Come early enough and even in winter happy hour can be a low key affair for a while, a few tables occupied, the bar packed with television blaring with the spoken word still audible at your remote table.


Big Pecker wines appeared on a billboard on Summerland Key and there was a predictably absurd round of protests equating pecker with penis. Whatever, I drink Smithwick's draught when I'm in the land of the Big Pecker. At $3.75 a pint it's a deal and at two for one during the 3 to 6 pm Happy Hour it's a superb deal. Get and keep a designated driver.


I like Parrotdise because the food though not fancy is good value if you are in the mod for bar food. During happy hour prices are reduced and you get the same great view.


If you partake of the poisonous weed you can sit out on a rather pleasant deck and hammer another nail in your coffin with the same great view...


It's a bright and cheerful place to drink good beer and eat jerk wings and have a meaningful conversation with friends.


By the time the second pint appeared we also got our sushi rolls and wings.


And I wanted fish fingers which my wife, not usually a fan, admitted were light and crispy and made perfect by mango sauce. I managed to remember to take a picture of sorts before the last one vanished. $6 goes a long way at happy hour at Parrotdise.


The bar is home to the obnoxious television screen but these patrons weren't put off by the advertising and graphics and general stupidity of modern broadcasting.


The sun was setting after I polished off the second Smithwick's (I'm a lightweight!) and weary anglers were heading home under the Highway One bridge.


Parrotdise is famous for it's old Land Rover parked on a pile of rocks, however I am more drawn to the fact that motorcycles get their own parking, on poured concrete no less. The only problem is that motorcycles and Smithwick's aren't compatible.


It's a nice spot, on stilts, on the waterfront facing Big Pine Channel and surrounded by palms.


On Highway One look for the Parmer's Resort sign and turn north on Barry Avenue.


It was a very pleasant evening at Parrotdise. Keb's place is worth a visit.



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Street Art

Two women standing on the sidewalk hula hooping. I photographed one of them in passing.


A dude looking homeless pushing a cart filled with luggage.


Another afternoon in sunny, wintery, 82 degree Key West.


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Ackee And Salt Fish

You just never know what you will find when you wander the strip malls of South Miami. We parked in the shade on the coat tails of a cold front that left Cheyenne comfortably refreshed in the car and went looking for lunch.



This formidable woman, Veronica, presides over the cash register at Jamaica Kitchen ( the website) though the restaurant is actually owned by a Chinese-Jamaican couple hence the listings for Chinese foods among the Caribbean staples.



I have long wanted to try the national dish of Jamaica which I have read about and never tasted. Veronica was quite surprised to see a white man (her words) order the ackee and salt fish. How bad could it be? Can twelve million Jamaicans have crap taste buds?



We ordered lunch portions which was plenty of food though I suppose the slightly more expensive, huge, dinner size would feed two if you can find two white people who want to eat ackee and salt fish for instance.



Ackee is fairly bland and starchy, cooked to the consistency of a firm pudding the fruit resembles, vaguely, a flavor-free banana. The pieces of salted cod have a medium strength fish flavor and might be too much for bland taste buds that only ever see mild fish like halibut and snapper. I thought the whole twelve dollar dish was excellent. If ackee seeds are included by accident they will poison you and kill you so you need to trust the chef.



My wife also an adventurous eater paused momentarily when I mentioned the fate of ackee seed eaters, but she voted my dish "Okay" while her own curried goat got big thumbs up



We've had curried goat before in the former British West Indies in wraps called roti so her's wasn't the weird dish this time around. British Caribbean food is an acquired taste for a lot of people but I have enjoyed it always on trips to the Caribbean.



There's nothing subtle about it so as daily cooking it might be a bit robust but every once in a while it makes for a pleasant change. In Jamaica ackee and salt fish with pancakes ("Johnny cakes" in the local lingo) is eaten at breakfast which boggles the mind slightly but they are a tough resilient people with a penchant for rib sticking foods.



Jamaica Kitchen sells packaged food stuffs sold in Jamaica and also sometimes made in Jamaica. Who could resist cock flavored soup mix? Curried cock anyone? And with my taste buds permanently ruined by a childhood in English public schools a fruit bun loaf, a heavy fruit cake contraption, looks irresistible. My wife allowed me to bring home a packet of Jamaican corn meal porridge instead.



My wife was drawn more to the ghastly sour Chinese plums preserved and sold in small packages to people with asbestos palates. The fierce lady at the counter mellowed out a bit with the white ackee eater and finally agreed to let me take her picture.



Cheyenne loved her goat bones and rice and peas



Jamaica Kitchen is near my wife's arthritis specialist so we will be back. I think I will order another plate of ackee and salt fish next time. Call me weird but I liked it.


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Pineapple Fencing

Seen in Bahama Village, these symbols of hospitality and welcome in Key West, pineapples...



The fence was decorated with insect cut outs, it was all quite charming.



And a fine porch to rock the sunset away.



Key West living.



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Neon And Darkness

I made a goof and got into town early for my overtime shift. 27 miles from home, what to do? Pull out the camera of course. I thought about having coffee at the Waffle House at the Days Inn, a place never previously visited by me. I thought better of it and decided to keep moving after I took this picture:




I am finally getting used to the Blue Lagoon Motel's replacement. The place seems to be a much nicer than the dive it replaced and the restaurant seems to have found a measure of stability. The sign on North Roosevelt looks okay when you can't see the stupid TV Screen.




In Key West 'The Boulevard' is the abbreviation given to North Roosevelt Boulevard, the four lane street that lines the north shore of New Town.




It is not particularly appealing as it is home to the chain stores and conveniences of modern North America, though restricted in number and choices. This is where locals can shop in box stores, Home Depot, Champs, Dollar Tree, K Mart and Pier One among others. Next April the state starts a much needed two year restoration of the boulevard with proper storm drains and paving and sidewalks.




It will be a chaotic two years while they reduce traffic flow and force everyone to squeeze onto Flagler Avenue.




I expect we will get used to it even as we curse the traffic jams and delays. These days North Roosevelt floods at the slightest provocation from the rain gods and proper drainage would be great.




I wonder how businesses will survive the down time of nearly 900 days starting this April.




I'd like to see proper sidewalks and landscaping and a general sense that this main artery should look moderately attractive even if not beautiful.




Currently it's a mess and the lack of sidewalks on the south side puts cyclists and pedestrians in the way of cars buzzing by well above the posted 35 mph speed omit.




At night the Boulevard loses some of it's ugliness which isn't quite so visible.




And at the end of the roadway just before it becomes Truman Avenue is my place of work




Some days I can hardly believe the trust me enough to give me a Key to the police station so I can come and go as I please. Then I remember I am closing in on eight years working here and they have been the best working years of my life. Even if the ride down the boulevard is horrid.


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