Beloved Key West
Key West, oh Key West you moth eaten town,
Your unpainted houses should all be torn down.
Your winters are damp and your summers too are hot,
The air is humid with mildew and rot.
The land of bad colds, of sore throats and flu.
Of stiff aching muscles, pneumonia too,
Your people dull witted and God, what a bore.Your streets are filthy as spring now approaches,
This materially adds to your crop of cockroaches.
The home of side porches and bumpy thoroughfares,
With slovenly girls and their awful bland stares.You live among roaches and don't mind the rats,
And all seem to thrive on mosquitoes and gnats,
You don't speak English, you talk Cubanese:
Inhaling sewer gas which you think is the breeze.
You make us pay double for all that you sell,But after this war you can go straight to Hell!
And when you reach Hades and Satan greets you,
You'll feel right at home, for he's a Key Wester too!
Yes, Key West. oh Key West, it isn't all gravy,
To be plunked at your feet by Uncle Sam's Navy.Have you ever wondered why none of us grieve?
Why all of us welcome the first chance to leave.
You think that you are perfect - that gripes like Hell.
You're rotten, you're dead, and you think you're alive.,You think you're a place - instead you're a dive.
You're not worth this paper, you're not worth this ink,
You can take it from me dear old Key West, YOU STINK!