Morning Light

I heard a story on NPR a while ago about the husband of our fearless US Representative Ileana Ros-Lehtinen. Just when we learned that in Florida's redistricting we are likely to get a different representative for the next decade.


Ros-Lehtinen will doubtless be unaffected by the scandal concerning her attorney husband as she is a senior member of the Republican caucus in Congress but it was disappointing to hear it anyway.


Somehow, heaven knows how, the estimable representative's husband got the contract to be the legal advisor to the Miccosukee tribe of Indians. By all accounts he was a strong advocate for environmental protection of the Everglades, traditional home of the tribe.


The Miccosukee are a secretive lot, living well thanks to their gambling palace on Krome Avenue at Tamiami Trail, but their government is a closed book to outsiders. In 2011 a new tribal leader saw mass firings in the tribal police department when half the department protested a hostile work environment and were fired, as though to prove the point.


The IRS have been investigating the tribe which recently fired it's counsel saying Dexter Lehtinen gave them bad tax advice. The story is as weird as a pair of lost panties in a Key West street. The tribe according to the WLRN story, have fessed up to a cool 26 million dollar oversight in their tax bill from the turn of the century as uncovered by Federal investigators.


The confession is, it seems a legal maneuver the tribe felt obliged to take to devolve the blame onto their attorney of record for his faulty tax advice. The only way the tribe could nail Dexter Lehtinen was by accepting that they had screwed the pooch on their tax returns.


The tribe claims that their attorney advised them, erroneously, not to file individual tax returns for the tribe's 600 members and thus they now find themselves with a rather large bill to pay.


Lehtinen's attorney says the tribe is nuts under the new leader elected in 2010 who has abandoned Lehtinen's pro-environment position in favor of focusing on gambling revenues.


Either way it seems like the Miccosukee are not going to be doing the Lehtinens any favors this election year. Se has been a good representative for the Keys, paying attention to the needs of this tiny portion of her South Florida constituency. Even though her support for the embargo is the price she pays for easy re-election by her Cuban base.


Locally the newspaper reported recently that the widow of a power boat racer who died in last year's race is going to sue the medical staff and organizer of the race. As a friend of mine remarked: "Put two people in a fiberglass shell powered by a jet engine and send them across the author as fast as they can go and what do you think is going to happen?"


It used to be people took up dangerous sports for then thrill and relied on themselves to get into and out of scrapes. This suit strikes me as being a perfect example of the inability of anyone to take responsibility for their own stupidity. I hope someone in the legal system shows them the door at their expense.


Meanwhile Key West continues on accommodating thousands of visitors and hundreds of negative comments in the paper bitching about parking and cruise ships and noise and bums and bad manners.


It makes you wonder why anyone bothers t move here, or live here in winter.


I like looking around and taking pictures and reminding myself what a great place this can be.


Winter sunshine, quiet early morning streets and not a complaint to be heard.


Besides I'm not a famous attorney so no one is suing me for untold millions so this must be my lucky day.



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Sammy Creek Park

"We need to go down to Sammy Creek and eat carrot cake," Chuck announced. Instantly I was overwhelmed by a pressing need to eat a large slice of extra rich home made carrot cake. The surroundings only made it better.




Chuck was at pains to point out that the newly created park is part of the kayaking trail through the Everglades and the Keys.




This plot of waterfront land at the very bottom of Sugarloaf Boulevard used to house a house which was demolished when the family deeded the land to the state which created a very fine public open space on the land just as the Sammy family desired.




In a time of increasing and blatant greed among the upper echelons the Sammy donation stands out as a very practical symbol of what can be done by people of good will. We enjoyed the hell out of it!




R-L, Chuck cutting cake, Wayne salivating and on the left their houseguest Kim from California learning to enjoy the year round sybaritic life of the Florida Keys. He will be moving into his Sugarloaf home full time pretty soon and I think he, like me, will enjoy the warmth of the Keys compared to the fog and wet of the northern California we both used to know so well.




Some other people have also discovered this public pocket jewel of a park.




We have had a spell of perfect summer weather lately with mild cool breezes, low humidity and temperatures in the mid 80s.




All of which means a dog likes her shade and Cheyenne found her spot strategically located to catch carrot cake crumbs.




After iced tea and a large slice of his own home made cake Chuck took either Tootie or Zuzu (I can't tell them apart) for a stroll. The Vizslas are nervous hunting dogs and need leashing unlike my lumbering Labrador.




The ocean looked fantastic, offering a whole range of summer colors to the winter sun.




See? Can you tell one dog from the other? One can barely tell Chuck (yellow shirt) from Wayne (white shirt).




It was an hour well spent along the old state road on the south shore of Sugarloaf Key. It's what winter in the Lower Keys is all about, being outdoors and enjoying the mosquito-free months.

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If Pigs Have Wings

In the course of my 54 years I have frequently heard that stupid phrase "...if pigs had wings," because it's an easy put down of silly ideas. Much of my life has been filled with dreams of the impractical so the smarter, down to earth people around me have felt obliged to stomp on the dreams with that stupid phrase. It turns out some pigs do have wings.


That's the secret of life, don't let the buggers stomp on your winged pigs.


Key West for a lot of people is a winged pig, the place where a disco ball can become a garden ornament.


Key West is the refuge where people come to dream that life can be exactly as they want it. On a bad day you can walk Lower Duval street and figure most people's dream is the ability to drink alcohol continuously without consequences.


Key West is the place where we lose our inhibitions, where our little private pigs practice flapping their newly sprouted little wings.


It isn't always the best thing to bring those little pigs to life. They start to flap their wings and then they demand attention and you either pay them their due and move to Key West or climb Mount Everest and then your detractors have their chance to tell you that despite indicators to the contrary pigs do not actually have wings.


Bonnie Albury's house on Southard Streethas a couple of enormous flappers on it and the little men hovering around the dilapidated mansion, paying it homage with their power tools and buckets of blood are helping the new owners to get their pig off the ground.


Bloody stupid isn't it? It's a declining housing market, or at least stagnant in Key West, and in a world of diminishing energy resources who wants a giant mansion in the hurricane belt that cost an arm and a leg to refurbish in time to be demolished by Mother Nature's annual summer fart? See, it's easy to tear down people's dreams, so easy perhaps you should try something different instead.


Perhaps flapping a few pigs wings isn't such a bad idea.you,ll be dead soon enough.


I don't trust the preacher when she insists we get to flap our wings when we're dead. what if this is all the time we've got?



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Parrotdise

If you eat at Parrotdise there is a good chance you will meet Keb, an unassuming cheerful man with a mane of gray hair and a permanent smile. He and his son Ryan created Big Pecker wines and sell them through his cheerful restaurant on Little Torch Key, Mile Marker 28.


Come early enough and even in winter happy hour can be a low key affair for a while, a few tables occupied, the bar packed with television blaring with the spoken word still audible at your remote table.


Big Pecker wines appeared on a billboard on Summerland Key and there was a predictably absurd round of protests equating pecker with penis. Whatever, I drink Smithwick's draught when I'm in the land of the Big Pecker. At $3.75 a pint it's a deal and at two for one during the 3 to 6 pm Happy Hour it's a superb deal. Get and keep a designated driver.


I like Parrotdise because the food though not fancy is good value if you are in the mod for bar food. During happy hour prices are reduced and you get the same great view.


If you partake of the poisonous weed you can sit out on a rather pleasant deck and hammer another nail in your coffin with the same great view...


It's a bright and cheerful place to drink good beer and eat jerk wings and have a meaningful conversation with friends.


By the time the second pint appeared we also got our sushi rolls and wings.


And I wanted fish fingers which my wife, not usually a fan, admitted were light and crispy and made perfect by mango sauce. I managed to remember to take a picture of sorts before the last one vanished. $6 goes a long way at happy hour at Parrotdise.


The bar is home to the obnoxious television screen but these patrons weren't put off by the advertising and graphics and general stupidity of modern broadcasting.


The sun was setting after I polished off the second Smithwick's (I'm a lightweight!) and weary anglers were heading home under the Highway One bridge.


Parrotdise is famous for it's old Land Rover parked on a pile of rocks, however I am more drawn to the fact that motorcycles get their own parking, on poured concrete no less. The only problem is that motorcycles and Smithwick's aren't compatible.


It's a nice spot, on stilts, on the waterfront facing Big Pine Channel and surrounded by palms.


On Highway One look for the Parmer's Resort sign and turn north on Barry Avenue.


It was a very pleasant evening at Parrotdise. Keb's place is worth a visit.



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Street Art

Two women standing on the sidewalk hula hooping. I photographed one of them in passing.


A dude looking homeless pushing a cart filled with luggage.


Another afternoon in sunny, wintery, 82 degree Key West.


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Ackee And Salt Fish

You just never know what you will find when you wander the strip malls of South Miami. We parked in the shade on the coat tails of a cold front that left Cheyenne comfortably refreshed in the car and went looking for lunch.



This formidable woman, Veronica, presides over the cash register at Jamaica Kitchen ( the website) though the restaurant is actually owned by a Chinese-Jamaican couple hence the listings for Chinese foods among the Caribbean staples.



I have long wanted to try the national dish of Jamaica which I have read about and never tasted. Veronica was quite surprised to see a white man (her words) order the ackee and salt fish. How bad could it be? Can twelve million Jamaicans have crap taste buds?



We ordered lunch portions which was plenty of food though I suppose the slightly more expensive, huge, dinner size would feed two if you can find two white people who want to eat ackee and salt fish for instance.



Ackee is fairly bland and starchy, cooked to the consistency of a firm pudding the fruit resembles, vaguely, a flavor-free banana. The pieces of salted cod have a medium strength fish flavor and might be too much for bland taste buds that only ever see mild fish like halibut and snapper. I thought the whole twelve dollar dish was excellent. If ackee seeds are included by accident they will poison you and kill you so you need to trust the chef.



My wife also an adventurous eater paused momentarily when I mentioned the fate of ackee seed eaters, but she voted my dish "Okay" while her own curried goat got big thumbs up



We've had curried goat before in the former British West Indies in wraps called roti so her's wasn't the weird dish this time around. British Caribbean food is an acquired taste for a lot of people but I have enjoyed it always on trips to the Caribbean.



There's nothing subtle about it so as daily cooking it might be a bit robust but every once in a while it makes for a pleasant change. In Jamaica ackee and salt fish with pancakes ("Johnny cakes" in the local lingo) is eaten at breakfast which boggles the mind slightly but they are a tough resilient people with a penchant for rib sticking foods.



Jamaica Kitchen sells packaged food stuffs sold in Jamaica and also sometimes made in Jamaica. Who could resist cock flavored soup mix? Curried cock anyone? And with my taste buds permanently ruined by a childhood in English public schools a fruit bun loaf, a heavy fruit cake contraption, looks irresistible. My wife allowed me to bring home a packet of Jamaican corn meal porridge instead.



My wife was drawn more to the ghastly sour Chinese plums preserved and sold in small packages to people with asbestos palates. The fierce lady at the counter mellowed out a bit with the white ackee eater and finally agreed to let me take her picture.



Cheyenne loved her goat bones and rice and peas



Jamaica Kitchen is near my wife's arthritis specialist so we will be back. I think I will order another plate of ackee and salt fish next time. Call me weird but I liked it.


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