Friday, October 21, 2011

Miami Signs

Life in the Keys is dependent on The big cities of the mainland one way or another. Many people refuse to drive Up North, preferring the isolation of the Keys peninsula. Fortunately my wife agrees with me that the occasional blast up Highway One is a nice way to remind ourselves why we enjoy living outside the Big City.


Nevertheless, walking my dog while my wife was busy gave me an opportunity to do what I do in Key West; look for silly signs. Even as I pondered the likelihood of Innovative Cancer and it's ramifications I crossed paths with one of my favorites, a misspelled sign. Oh joy!


This sign must have been cleaned up by one crew and was to be filled in by another crew who forgot, apparently, and left us all to guess it's new meaning...


In case the bright yellow high visibility sign and arrow were insufficient there was a notice above explaining their purpose. People really are zombies.


In Miami this next is a rarity and thus worth sign posting. Most people are extremely impatient.


This next sign cracked me up completely. As someone who earns a living answering 9-1-1 calls my feelings about encouraging more people to do that seemed irresponsible, to put it politely. You have no idea how many 9-1-1 calls I answer where the first thing the person on the line says says is "I know this isn't an emergency, but..." Sigh. If you hear the bell...oh all right pull their chestnuts from the fire for them.


People in plastic bonnets aren't weirdos around here practicing for Fantasy Fest. This part of Miami is dedicated to the only trade in the US which continues to enjoy burgeoning profits (banks don't count as they are surviving by the socialist nipple).


How much money can there be in insomnia? There must be a ton considering the size of the palazzo they built to "treat" it.


Doubtless this anxiety inducing vacancy will be filled by people in white coats very soon. If one phone number doesn't work the other one is standing by. Anxiously.


Athena Water wants you to look at their Facebook and follow them on Twitter. Can you imagine how riveting that must be?


If you have nothing better to do with your time he's another one. Do you remember when Freemasonry was a secret society dedicated to who knows what. In the past free and accepted masons fomented rebellion against dictators and were thus excommunicated by the tightest dictator in Europe. They still are too. But the Papacy is notoriously slow to move with the times.


Not the Freemasons. This branch of the secret society of men has a website! No shit, I checked it. It's not that interesting unless you want to look at class pictures of mostly older white men standing around in aprons. I saw no signs of fomenting rebellion or making secret plots or standing around on one leg with a blindfold or anything wild. Very boring in fact.


The City of South Miami has an old fashioned sign presiding over city hall and a very nice thing it is too. A proper public clock which keeps time and chimes exactly on the hour.


Very nice, city of pleasant living indeed. Apart from the traffic and the crowds and the never ending sense of hurrying.



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1 comment:

Chuck and the Pheebs said...

In three years of KW living, I've not been possessed of island fever. Granted, I do travel more than most, but once home, I dread leaving the rock.

The idea of a ten hour daytrip to the mainland registers as purgatory on a personal heaven/hell scale.